When a conversation is not working out there is the
potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough
depending on how you look at it.
Here are seven sure-fire ways to turn it around...
1 Question your assumptions about the other person
Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on rumors
that have no basis in reality. You may be unfairly judging
the other person and filtering every word he speaks because
of a false image of who he really is.
Have you ever harshly judged someone and found out later you
were completely in the wrong? Make sure you are not making
the same mistake again.
2 Ask for clarification
Ask the other person to fill in the gaps that are causing
you to lose your grasp on the train of thought.
Asking questions demonstrates your interest in a positive
outcome and is to be encouraged. Never worry about looking
stupid for asking for more information. The smartest people
value information and are always ready to ask for more.
3 Are you really listening?
Check that you are really paying attention and not just
pretending to be. Change your posture, pay close attention
to how the other person is talking and demand more of
yourself.
Become more attentive simply by choosing to be.
4 Address the issue directly
Be direct and say aloud that you feel the conversation is
not working out. Often the other person will agree and
together the two of you will be able to work to correct the
situation.
Two minds are better than one!
5 Ask for help
If you often have trouble conversing with a particular
person get advice from someone that knows the other person.
Very often by doing this you will get new insights you can
act on right away.
And someone who is removed from the situation will have the
objectivity you need to make sense of the chaos you have
created.
6 Take a break
Sometimes the timing just is not right. Reschedule the
conversation for a later time when you are better prepared,
more rested or not as distracted by other issues.
Forcing something to work out when the odds are stacked
against you is difficult and often unnecessary. Get back to
it later when you are feeling more capable and you will
make better decisions and with less effort.
7 Aim for good not perfect
Sometimes we hold such high standards for ourselves that we
can never win. If you demand 100 per cent success at all
times you are setting yourself up for constant
disappointment. Do your best and aim to learn and improve
from every experience.
Be kinder to yourself and you will be more relaxed in all
of your dealings with other people. And ironically your
performance will improve because you are not being so hard
on yourself.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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