Do you ever get stuck for words or experience embarrassing
silences when you meet people?
If you do you need to apply these 7 tips right away...
1. Use topics of conversation that have worked for you
already.
It is a mistake to feel you have to be original each time
you meet a new person. Reuse jokes, stories and news that
people have found interesting and entertaining before.
What has worked before is likely to work again.
2. Discover the other person´s passion.
We all love talking about what excites us. Ask questions to
find out what makes their life worth living.
It could be dogs, cats, children, music etc. Be a detective
and find out. Your reward will be someone who is delighted
to talk to you.
3. Keep up to date with the news.
Go to Google News each day to stay current on what is going
on in the world. Pick a few stories to talk about.
http://news.google.com/
You can read the headlines and also do a search on any
topic that comes to mind. This way you will never run out
of things to discuss.
4. Brainstorm topics of conversation.
You can do this quickly and easily at this keyword map site:
http://www.kwmap.com/
Type a word into the box in the middle of the screen and
you will be presented with related words and phrases.
If I type in pizza, I get words and phrases such as pizza
hut, pizza delivery, pasta, Ialian and delivery.
How is this useful?
Let´s say I am going to a pizza party I could do this
brainstorming exercise beforehand. And then think up
anecdotes and personal stories for each related topic. At
the party I will be ready to chat.
You can do the same in anticipation of likely conversation
topics related to the event you will attend.
5. Use the principle of reciprocity.
Give first to receive. You need to offer some personal
disclosure to allow others to get to know you. And when you
tell them a little about yourself they will feel obliged to
return the favor.
There is no need to reveal overly personal details just
keep it to small talk. It is easy to mention what you have
been doing that day or that week.
6. Each day brainstorm word associations and make a game of
it.
People who love to talk and who never seem to pause for
breath have a knack for taking one idea or topic and moving
onto a related one. They do this all day long.
How do they do it?
By letting their imagination link one topic to another.
This follows on from what I said earlier.
Keep up to date with the news and use the keyword map to
come up with related topics of conversation.
7. Practice, practice, practice.
When you are alone practice taking a conversation from one
topic to another. Talk it through aloud and let it flow.
For example a conversation on pizza:
- pizza hut, I went there last Friday and had...
- pizza delivery, it was raining and I was starving...
- pasta, I love that new sauce at the restaurant in town...
- Italian, my cousin just married an Italian guy...
- delivery, UPS dropped off my new bike today...
For each topic just let yourself talk without restriction.
Finally, remember the point of small talk is to bond with
people. You do not have to get stuck into a serious
discussion. Be easy on yourself and bear in mind
conversation is a two way street. It´s not all up to you.
IMPORTANT - PLEASE NOTE:
Knowing what to say is only the tip of the iceberg.
You must take charge of your emotional state or else you
will freeze when the pressure is on. Your good intentions
will be in vain if you do not feel talkative when the
moment of truth arrives.
However you CAN feel enthusiastic, confident and energetic
when you prepare correctly...
How?
Refer back to my book and the bonus reports:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
1. Use lesson 1 in my book daily for social interaction.
2. Review the Conversation Fear report and APPLY it.
3. Revisit the How to Start a Great Conversation with
Anyone report and master those 15 distinctions.
Have Fun,
Peter Murphy
Author,
How To Communicate With Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days Or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
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