Although you may forget at times...
You already have a great deal of the essential
communication skills it takes to make great conversation.
The only problem is you often stop yourself from performing
at your best.
You might do this by demanding perfection of yourself or by
waiting for the ideal moment before you speak up. In either
case you are setting yourself for failure when there is a
far easier way.
Sometimes all you need to achieve a personal breakthrough
is a slight shift in perspective.
I highly recommend you adopt my simple two-step approach to
communication confidence:
Two Steps To Communication Confidence:
1. Treat Conversation Starters As A Test
Make a statement or opening comment and then put all of
your attention on the other person. Pay very close
attention to his response.
Does he seem interested? When he responds, does he do so
with enthusiasm and energy?
If he does you have found a winner. Great! Keep talking
about that topic you introduced.
If the other person seems disinterested simply regard that
response as a signal to try a different topic.
It is feedback and not to be taken personally.
Now, introduce a new topic of conversation. And again pay
very close attention to the response of your listener.
To sum up. All you do is... test a conversation topic and
pay attention to feedback.
When you adopt this outlook it will take a lot of pressure
off you. You will feel more confident about starting
conversations because as long as you prepare beforehand you
will have several potential topics of conversation.
It really is just like fishing. Throw out some bait and see
what happens.
2. Keep The Winners And Drop The Losers
The more topics you explore the greater the likelihood you
will strike gold. Just keep testing the waters for the
winners that are waiting for you.
However when you do find a conversation topic that draws in
the other person keep it alive. Share your thoughts, ask
questions and make the most of the moment. Make sure you
contribute first as this encourages the other person to
share as well.
At some point that discussion will fade. Then go back to
step one and fish for more topics of common interest.
Drop those that run out of steam and invest more energy in
the ones that grab the other person.
This is exactly what world-class communicators do. They
constantly adapt to the responses of the other person.
Why?
Because conversations are a dynamic two-way interaction. To
perform well you must put most of your attention on the
other person. Then adapt to the feedback.
This is a key distinction.
And this change in perspective can give you the confidence
to be at your best when you are dealing with people.
Forget about being perfect and instead adopt an attitude of
searching for good conversation topics.
Prepare beforehand by keeping up to date with local issues
and other matters of common interest and always be ready to
use the old favorites:
- the weather
- pets
- family
- latest news
People never stop talking about these topics and they make
for easy ways to get to know people without any pressure.
Okay, time for you to get testing.
Have Fun,
Peter Murphy
Author,
How To Communicate With Unstoppable
Confidence In 20 Days Or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
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HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?
Highly Recommended Resource:
The Sedona Method
I run a fr*e discussion board where you can learn more about
this powerful self help technology. The Sedona Method teaches
you how to let go of wanting the approval of other people as
well as showing you how to improve all of your relationships by
releasing the emotional baggage we tend to hold onto.
You can also request a fr*e introductory tape or learn more
at:
http://groups.msn.com/TheSedonaMethodreleasingClub/
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