Monday, February 21, 2005

How To Improve People Skills - 4 Great Ways

by Peter Murphy

Improving your People Skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate people skills.

Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
people skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.

Step #1 Cut the nervousness out!

Remember people are not out to murder or attack you, they
are just here to socialize both personally and in business.
If that doesn’t help remember that if you are nervous then
the other person probably is too.

If you still feel butterflies in your stomach after trying
to calm done just try and act calm. Sometimes just acting
as if you are calm is enough to trick your mind into
feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so act
calm and your butterflies should follow.

Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.

Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.

If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine. Try and keep your legs down and if you are
standing don’t sway. Swaying implies again that you are
bored or that you are in a hurry.

Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.

Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though. Watch the conversation and don’t let those
uncomfortable pauses scare you.

Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that the
other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy. Try
small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.

When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a
more important topic.

Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.

Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.

Step #4 Ending the Conversation.

Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.

Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels
you as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s
movements and actions. We as humans have very subtle but
dependable signs of letting each know when we are through.

If the other person tends to refer to their “to do” list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or
displaying other physical signs of boredom, let them go.

Improving your people skills can be hard and may take
longer than anticipated based on your anxiety level and the
previous exposure you’ve had to the social world. Don’t
worry though, keep trying, good people skills are the
foundation for success!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

3 Ways to Start a Great Conversation

by Peter Murphy

Many people worry about how to start a conversation. While
other people instinctively know how to start a conversation
and it comes almost naturally.

Are you comfortable that you know how to start a
conversation? Do you become tongue tied not sure what to
say? If you are not then there are many valuable resources
available to help you learn the art of conversation.

Here are three simple ways that you can learn how to start
a conversation and keep it going.

1. Be confident in yourself.

Consider that the other person has an interest in what it
is you have to say. Sometimes people have trouble with
conversation because of a lack of confidence in themselves.

The irony is that even if you are only pretending to be
confident other people will assume that you are confident.
They will then be more responsive to what you say and it
becomes easier to engage them in conversation.

2. Think of a compliment.

A great way to start a conversation is by complimenting
someone to. For example, you might say, "By the way Susan
that was an excellent presentation you gave today."

Tell someone you like his new car, his shoes, his hair or
the way he talks and you will have set the scene for a
friendly chat.

It is very hard for anyone to resist positive feedback. We
all love to hear sincere compliments and we then feel
compelled to treat the giver of the compliment favorably.

3. Ask the other person questions about themselves.

There's no better way to start a conversation than ask
someone a question about themselves.

Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask
someone a question about themselves you will most likely
not have to do any other talking throughout the rest of the
conversation.

And most likely that personal will leave the conversation
thinking very highly of you because you cared so much about
them and their interests.

They will certainly consider that you are a great
conversationalist even though you may have said very little.

These three simple tips are all you need to learn how to
start a conversation and keep it going. Not only are the
above tips helpful in learning how to start a conversation
but they will also work in keeping a conversation flowing.

For example, if the conversation seems to come to an end
prematurely ask another question or make another compliment.

You can change your life and now is the time to start.

Exceptional conversation skills can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress.

Although some people fear otherwise, conversation skills
can be learned by anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now.

What matters is learning a proven approach you can use for
the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years to figure out a step by
step formula. Are there any short cuts to learning
exceptional conversation skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start
applying the lessons, one at a time. Take a little
each day and you will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Remember, this is a course that requires you to
put the strategies into action in your daily life.
Do that and your success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence. Click here now to test
this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

4 Magical Conversation Tips

by Peter Murphy

The ability to converse easily and effectively can
frequently be a challenge and people often require a few
conversation tips to help them get started.

With the application of a few conversation tips you will be
surprised at how easily you can talk to people in
situations you may have previously just run away from.

Listed below are a few conversation tips to help you get
started conversing easily and confidently.

After reading these conversation tips you will see that a
conversation is more than an exchange of words between
people, it is an art that the truly successful people have
mastered.

1 Give your undivided attention to the person you are
talking to. If the person you are talking to feels as
though you are not listening or too busy looking elsewhere,
they will assume you are not interested and end the
conversation there.

Be sure to ask questions to get the other person talking
about their opinions and give feedback to the answers.
However, be sure not to ask question after question.

You don’t want to engulf the person in so many questions
that they do not get the opportunity to learn how you feel
about the topic of discussion.

2 Your body language says more than the words you are
speaking. Fidgeting or playing with a loose article may
show disinterest. The last thing you want to happen is for
the person you are talking to get the wrong impression of
you.

Crossing one’s arms often gives the appearance of being
closed off to what the other person is saying. Making eye
contact will aid in showing the person talking that you are
paying attention.

Now, this does not mean that you have to stare a person
down, but you do want to look at the person to show them
you are interested and listening. Paying attention to this
unspoken form of communication will help keep you from
sending the wrong message.

3 No matter what gets brought up during the conversation,
don’t start an argument. Part of a good conversation
involves the ability to listen and be listened to. It is
quite natural for people to have a difference of opinions.

When someone expresses a view or statement that bothers
you, give them their opportunity to talk. When it is your
turn to talk be sure to express that you understand each
person has their right to their opinion and don’t tell them
they are wrong.

This will most likely start an argument, and the person you
are arguing with may now see you as being disagreeable or
even obnoxious.

4 End the conversation on an upbeat, happy note. You want
the last thing this person remembers about you to be
positive.

It would be awful to have a person leave after a
conversation thinking negatively about you. You also want
to end the conversation before you run out of things to say.

Nothing is more uncomfortable than the point of a
conversation when there is no more conversation. The
awkward silence between you will leave a lasting impression
and will not end the conversation optimistically.

If you begin following these conversation tips on a regular
basis you will find yourself having more effective
conversations that aren’t as awkward and difficult as they
once were.

Being able to effectively communicate with others is an art
that, when mastered, will lead you to success in future
professional and personal endeavors.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Social Skills Training Made Easy

by Peter Murphy

Just as no one learns to ride a bicycle without first being
trained to ride a bicycle, so too does no one truly acquire
social skills without undergoing some kind of social skills
training.

While it’s not always easy to define what is meant by
social skills, it’s easy to identify individuals who lack
them and need social skills training: they tend to be
socially isolated, frustrated, depressed, even prone to
anger and acting out.

Social skills training for both children and adults focuses
on creating individuals who are able to make and maintain
friendships, understand and express emotion, work
cooperatively, and develop assertiveness and self-worth.

In the workplace, social skills help employees embody the
traits most valued by employers: compliance, civility, and
cooperativeness.

Mental health experts have identified four primary areas of
social skills:

1. Survival skills, such as listening and following
directions, focusing on the task at hand, and using
positive self-talk to reward success.

2. Interpersonal skills, such as sharing, participating
appropriately in activities, and learning how to take turns.

3. Problem-solving skills, including knowing how and when
to ask for help, deciding upon the correct course of
action, and accepting consequences for behavior.

4. Conflict resolution skills, such as dealing with
misunderstanding or accusation.

The goal of social skills training is to facilitate
desirable behaviors while minimizing the incidence of
undesirable ones. Through positive modeling, coaching, and
role-playing, effective programs need to:

1. Teach listening skills, conversational skills, and
social participation skills. Central to all three is eye
contact, knowing when (and when not) to speak, and how to
show interest in what other people are saying.

2. Describe how to ask questions and favors appropriately
of others, and how to follow directions. Help people
determine the best time to speak, how to know who to ask
for help, and how to get another person’s attention in a
friendly and non-aggressive way.

3. Provide direction in how to interpret body language.
People communicate volumes through their facial expressions
and by many other non-verbal cues that can be nuanced and
challenging to understand. Teach participants to observe
other people closely through role-play and through modeling.

4. Teach the skill of working cooperatively. Working well
with others involves being able to listen, to identify what
needs to be done and how it should be accomplished, and to
be attuned to the needs and feelings of the people involved
in the task.

5. Train people how to communicate positively and
productively. Teach them when and how to say thank you,
how to give constructive compliments, and how to give and
receive positive feedback.

Accepting a compliment is not easy for some people, but
learning how to do it graciously and appropriately is a
valuable social skill.

6. Instruct on the proper techniques of conflict
resolution. Accepting the consequences of behavior means
knowing when and how to apologize, understanding how
actions influence other people, and demonstrating the
ability to empathize.

Social skills have been referred to by some psychologists
as "life skills". Therefore, social skills training is
really about giving people the skills they need to succeed
in life.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Thursday, February 03, 2005

4 Great Ways To Improve Social Skills

by Peter Murphy

Improving your social skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate social skills.

Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
social skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.

Step #1 Start socializing close to home.

Not literally but metaphorically. Start by looking at your
closest social interactions. If you are the kind of person
who is more off to themselves and not very active at your
friends’ parties then you are more than likely the same
person who can’t speak up in a business or find the courage
to initiate a date.

So start by mingling yourself with your closest people more
often. Practice by holding conversation with family you
don’t regularly speak too or becoming more active in the
party scene with your friends.

There’s no need to become outrageous just speak up with
those you fell comfortable with.

Step #2 Improve your conversation skills.

Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though.

Watch the conversation and don’t let those uncomfortable
pauses scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a
good chance that the other person is nervous as well, so
just take it easy.

Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.

When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to amore
important topic.

Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.

Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.

Step #3 Improve the body language in your social skills.

Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.

If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine.

Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don’t
sway. Swaying can suggest again that you are bored or that
you are in a hurry.

Step #4 Ending the Conversation.

Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.

Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over labels you
as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s movements
and actions.

We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of
letting each know when we are through. If the other person
tends to refer to their "to do list" for the day or are
constantly shifting their body weight or displaying other
physical signs of boredom, let them go.

Improving your social skills can be done. Don’t worry, keep
trying and aim to improve a little each day. Good social
skills are the foundation for success!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm


Improving your social skills can be done!





How to Communicate At Your Best

by Peter Murphy

Knowing how to communicate well is a big issue. According
to a recent National Survey, Americans fear public speaking
and communication more than they fear dying.

Why is this?

Because knowing how to communicate well requires very
personal attention between you and another human being and
let's face it, anything personal opens a door to insecurity
and feeling of inadequacy. So how can you overcome these
insecure feelings about communication?

Is there a better way to learn how to communicate
effectively?

It takes some individual commitment but for starters,
follow these 3 basics steps.

1. Relax and Breath.

Whether it's a business meeting, a conference room or a
first date the first thing you must do in order to
communicate is relax.

When you relax you are in control. You control your
reactions and your reactions do not control you. Breathing
is central to relaxation. Take a few deep breaths and your
body will begin to be more at ease.

2. Think and you will be prepared.

Have you ever heard the old saying, "think before you
speak"? Well, it rings true. An effective sentence,
paragraph and speech must first be formed in your mind.

Try to think a few sentences ahead, predicting your follow
up sentences and the ones following them. If you forget to
think you will wind up dumbfounded and back at step one,
but don't worry, relax and keep going.

By thinking ahead about how the conversation might flow you
will be better prepared, more at ease and more confident.

3. Follow the flow of the conversation.

If you are giving a speech, watch the audience and know how
to read their reactions. For example, if they are bored,
key up your speech.

If they are tired, then maybe it would be best to wrap it
up. If your communication is more personal like a date, do
the same but remember communication is a give and take
process.

If you are uncomfortable, being silent will only make it
worse and make the other person uncomfortable as well. So
when all else fails follow through with small talk until a
common topic appears.

A good way to keep a conversation going is to ask the other
person questions. People love to talk about themselves and
if you do this they will leave the conversation thinking
very highly of you.

Learning good communication skills is not something out of
reach. You can learn how to communicate with confidence
whether it is through written communication, verbal
communication or non verbal communication if you make an
effort.

So good luck and good communication.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to reserve your
365 day trial of this simple
step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

You can learn how to communicate with confidence!