Thursday, September 30, 2004

People Skills and Success

People Skills’ Training Center opens in Escondido, CA Regularly scheduled seminars available for executives, entrepreneurs & employees to improve necessary skills for success in the new economy.

‘People Skills’ expert, Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, has announced the opening of the Optimize! Institute on January 21ST in Escondido, California based conveniently in the Holiday Inn Express just off Highway I-15. The Optimize! Institute offers regularly scheduled, targeted training in conflict & anger management, mediation, negotiation, communication & networking for entrepreneurs, executives & employees.

(this news reinforces the importance of people skills in business.)

"Research studies show that up to 42% of an employee's time is spent engaging in or attempting to resolve conflict.” - Daniel Dana, ‘Conflict Resolution’, McGraw Hill, 2001

Clearly, people skills are essential for business success...

Improving communication and conflict management skills has been proven time and again to BENEFIT organizations on every level from performance to profit. Optimize! Institute delivers expert facilitation & training in these areas through in-person seminars, web-based learning, teleseminars & custom onsite development for small & large businesses. All in all, people skills are covered from every angle.

“Effectively managing day-to-day interactions in the workplace – particularly the negative ones - makes you more competent, capable and confident, both as an employee or as a manager,” says Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. “Your workplace is not only more peaceful but it is more productive & profitable. No down time from unnecessary squabbles, hurt feelings or regrettable conversations… and who doesn’t want that?”

“The ‘ostrich technique’”, says Shaler, “is simply costing businesses big bucks every day. Burying their heads in the sand and thinking conflict will go away is a waste of time, energy, personnel and dollars. Poor work ethics, surly attitudes and off-hand service drives people away—both employees and customers!“

The difference between successful, efficient, respected businesses and those thinking of closing their doors may very well be found in their ‘people skills’—internally & externally. Unresolved conflict can be costly to the individuals involved and the entire organization. So costly, in fact, it was reported in ‘Violence in the Workplace” by Erik Van Slyke, that ‘over 65% of performance problems in the workplace result from strained relationships between employees—and NOT from skill based deficits or lack of appropriate motivation.”

Optimize! Institute is positioned to be the premier facility for ‘people skills’ training in Southern California. The convenience of web- & telephone-based learning options creates a comprehensive program that is accessible to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Executives & entrepreneurs can get the exact skills they need, delivered in concise, intensive three-hour programs, onsite, off-site or on the phone. The website outlines program offerings and registration along with informative articles, bi-weekly electronic newsletter and other supportive materials. http://www.OptimizeInstitute.com

Now, you know it´s not just me talking about the importance of people skills at work. In fact, people skills are key for success in life.


Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm





Wednesday, September 29, 2004

How To Win Friends And Influence People Not!

How to win friends and influence people depends on getting rapport so read on for...

Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes:

Get these wrong and you have no chance when it is time to win
friends and influence people.

1 Pretending You Are Interested When You Are Not

Do yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people
you spend time with. If you are really not interested in the
topic of conversation say so. This is key if you really want to
win friends and influence people.

If possible change the subject or simply postpone that
particular conversation until another time.

Obviously if there is a danger of offending the other person you
will have to less direct. In these situations it helps to find
out right away what the other person wants or expects from you.
Ask!

Th conversation will right away become very relevant to you and
maintaining interest is a lot easier.


2 Disliking The Other Person

If you do not like the person you are talking to it will come
across at some level. Ask yourself -- what could I like about
this person? This will help put you in a better frame of mind.

And look for things you have in common by asking yourself - how
is this person like me?

We all have something in common and commonality builds rapport.
Look for it and you will find it.

If you mechanically attempt to get rapport with people while
secretly disliking them you will never get that deep rapport you
are aiming for. In fact if your focus is on how much you dislike
the person you will not even want rapport and instead you will be
setting yourself up for conflict.


3 Wanting Rapport With Everyone You Meet

I made this mistake when I first learned the advanced
communication skills I cover in my book.

All of a sudden, for the first time, I was able to get rapport
with anyone I met. So I did.

And I recommend you do the same to a point. With one exception.
There are some people you do not want to be getting deep rapport
with.

Take someone who is like a raging bull with a deep resentment and
hate for themselves and other people. Do you really want to feel
the same way? If you get deep rapport you will feel some of the
same feelings.

While you may need to be effective around such people keep your
focus on your real goal. Deal effectively with the individual and
maintain your own emotional state regardless of how upset the other
person is.

Pay attention to your emotional state when dealing with negative
people, manipulative people and others who will drain your energy.
With these people rely more on the weakest element of rapport -
words. And manage your body language without following their lead.


4 Not Speaking Their Language

We all have one primary sense whether it be visual, auditory or
feelings based that dominates our perception of the world.

You need to get good at spotting which modality other people use
and match their world to get rapport quickly and easily.

If someone is in a visual mode their words will be dominated by
words that express what they see. For example the car is red with
a white soft top and a huge back seat.

Whereas the auditory person describes the car in a different way:
it sounds like a lion roaring when you start the engine and the
CD player fills the car with deep, rich sounds that dance around
your ears.

Finally the person most attuned to their feelings notices the
smooth soft sensation of the leather seats and the warm firm
feeling when they hold the steering wheel.

If you use the wrong modality for the person you are talking to
it makes it harder for him to understand you. You have to work
harder to get rapport.

And when you speak to several people at once make sure you use
visual, auditory and feeling words to make sure you appeal to
everyone.

Make a point of paying attention to the dominant modality your
friends and family use. And you may have a breakthrough when you
finally discover why you are not getting deep rapport with some
of them while more easily getting along with other people.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm


You´ll soon get rapport and enjoy knowing how to win friends and influence people.


Tuesday, September 28, 2004

How To Be Confident

Want to know how to be confident?

Confidence Is Easy When You Know How...

Having confidence is all about believing in yourself and
the only way you can build your belief in what you are
capable of is by taking action in the world and learning
through trial and error.

(That is the secret to how to be confident.)

If you think success, happiness and love are going to happen
without learning through mistakes along the way you are
mistaken.

Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as
well as those of others. Without experience how are you
going to learn anything?

Let me give you an example. At my local bank a number of
weeks ago I attempted to make small talk with the cashier
and she completely ignored me.

Last week I was in the bank and tried my small talk routine
again, and again I failed. She ignored me again!

There are a number of ways to view this situation:

1 My communication strategy is not working
2 I need to change my approach
3 I will learn from this experience and become better

A number of years ago I would have given this situation a
different analysis:

1 She is rude and ignorant. She thinks I am a moron
2 I feel crushed by this blatant rejection
3 My confidence depends on this person liking me
4 Time to find a new bank!

Notice the difference...

My old outlook sets me up for pain and frustration and puts
the ball in the court of the other person. My confidence
depends on how the other person responds.

My new outlook puts me in control. I created the results I
am getting, I can choose to change my approach and I can
decide to learn and grow from every experience.

A second point worth mentioning is that of wanting something
from someone versus giving.

When you approach dealing with other people as getting
something from them you will always have confidence issues
instead view conversations as giving and you are back in
control.

With the bank cashier if I want to get something from her I
focus on wanting her to accept me and this neediness will
be picked up by her. She is unlikely to respond positively
to this.

If instead I give what I want then I will decide to accept
her. And she will receive my acceptance and likely reflect
it back to me.

My confidence then is based on giving - something I am in
charge of not someone else.

Now it is time for you to take this information and put it
into action.

Think of a situation where you are typically not as
confident as you would like to be.

If the reason is due to a lack of knowledge or ability then
work on that first. If you do have the necessary skills
then decide to take action and learn step by step from
every experience.

Start with a small challenge and gradually step up to
bigger ones.

Remember to use this outlook:

1 What is working and what is not working?
2 Change your approach until you get the results you want
3 Decide to learn from every experience

Your confidence is under your control and is not controlled
by someone else!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

How to be confident is a question of strategy!

Friday, September 24, 2004

7 Quick And Easy Tips To Rescue A Sinking Conversation

When a conversation is not working out there is the
potential for massive frustration or a breakthrough
depending on how you look at it.

Here are seven sure-fire ways to turn it around...

1 Question your assumptions about the other person

Perhaps the breakdown in communication is based on rumors
that have no basis in reality. You may be unfairly judging
the other person and filtering every word he speaks because
of a false image of who he really is.

Have you ever harshly judged someone and found out later you
were completely in the wrong? Make sure you are not making
the same mistake again.

2 Ask for clarification

Ask the other person to fill in the gaps that are causing
you to lose your grasp on the train of thought.

Asking questions demonstrates your interest in a positive
outcome and is to be encouraged. Never worry about looking
stupid for asking for more information. The smartest people
value information and are always ready to ask for more.

3 Are you really listening?

Check that you are really paying attention and not just
pretending to be. Change your posture, pay close attention
to how the other person is talking and demand more of
yourself.

Become more attentive simply by choosing to be.

4 Address the issue directly

Be direct and say aloud that you feel the conversation is
not working out. Often the other person will agree and
together the two of you will be able to work to correct the
situation.

Two minds are better than one!

5 Ask for help

If you often have trouble conversing with a particular
person get advice from someone that knows the other person.
Very often by doing this you will get new insights you can
act on right away.

And someone who is removed from the situation will have the
objectivity you need to make sense of the chaos you have
created.

6 Take a break

Sometimes the timing just is not right. Reschedule the
conversation for a later time when you are better prepared,
more rested or not as distracted by other issues.

Forcing something to work out when the odds are stacked
against you is difficult and often unnecessary. Get back to
it later when you are feeling more capable and you will
make better decisions and with less effort.

7 Aim for good not perfect

Sometimes we hold such high standards for ourselves that we
can never win. If you demand 100 per cent success at all
times you are setting yourself up for constant
disappointment. Do your best and aim to learn and improve
from every experience.

Be kinder to yourself and you will be more relaxed in all
of your dealings with other people. And ironically your
performance will improve because you are not being so hard
on yourself.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

Thursday, September 23, 2004

The Secret Way to Beat Shyness

Have you ever found yourself in a social gathering and felt
intimidated? Maybe the whirlwind of negative thoughts in your
head stopped you meeting new people, joining a conversation or
participating fully.

If only you could take charge of your thoughts. You could have
a lot of fun, be yourself and make lots of new friends!

How To Switch Off Negative Thoughts:

1 Use Your Secret Pressure Point

On the roof of your mouth directly behind your two front teeth
there is a fleshy ball at the point where your gums meet the back
of your front teeth.

If you touch this pressure point with the tip of your tongue you
will find that the chatter inside your head eases off
dramatically.

Without realizing it a lot of the time your tongue makes very
slight movements to match the inner talk inside your head. Stop
the tongue from moving and the chatter stops.

Touching the pressure point with your tongue also helps to relax
you which is a useful benefit when you are already feeling
anxious at a social gathering.

2 Interrupt The Pattern

Your mind can only pay attention to one thing at a time. Take
your mind off of negative thoughts by giving your mind something
else to focus on.

I often listen to my favorite music when I want to switch my
attention off of negative thoughts. This can be when I am driving
or when I am in the house.

If I am socializing and I want to interrupt the pattern of
limiting thoughts I will listen to my favorite music only this
time I recall the memory and hear it inside my head.

A friend of mine with a very stressful job has a great way to
start his day. He listen to the James Bond theme tune up loud
while he is shaving. Doing this makes him laugh as well as
energizing him.

Later in the day it is easy for him to recall the tune if he
needs to distract his mind and get off of the negatives.

You can do the same thing.

3 Preparation With Disaster Planning

One other way to take charge of the negative thoughts is to
prepare before the social event by discovering and dealing with
the negative thoughts before they surface.

Make a list of all the things that could embarrass you. Write down
all the things that could go wrong. And then brainstorm awkward
situations you might find yourself in.

Really indulge yourself and let your imagination run riot!

Now! For each hazardous situation write down three ways to deal
effectively with the situation. Take your time at this.

Once you have finished this exercise you will feel more confident
because you will know you can handle whatever happens.

For example, you are afraid to approach someone to initiate a
conversation. Why? Get specific! What could go wrong?

The person might laugh at you, ignore you, walk away and leave
you looking stupid or just insult you.

You get the point. I am exaggerating how bad it could be so as to
cover all possibilities.

How would I handle the situation if the person laughed at me and
then insulted me before walking way? What three options could I
use?

1 Follow the person and laugh at them!

2 Count myself lucky I did not spend any more time with such a
rude person before immediately moving on to someone else.

3 Tell everyone else how rude that person is. That ought to get
their attention and sympathy.

Finally, realise that dealing with people is down to mathematics.
For every 20 people you meet you may bump into a moron. Now that
you have already met the moron it is time to meet the 19 nice
people who would love to meet you!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm


Tuesday, September 21, 2004

7 Simple Ways To Have Great Conversations

7 Simple Ways To Have An Endless Supply Of Great Conversation Topics...

Do you ever get stuck for words or experience embarrassing
silences when you meet people?

If you do, you need to apply these 7 tips right away...

1. Use Topics Of Conversation That Worked Before

It is a mistake to feel you have to be original each time
you meet a new person. Reuse jokes, stories and news that
people have found interesting and entertaining before.

What has worked before is likely to work again.


2. Discover The Other Person´s Passion

We all love talking about what excites us. Ask questions to
find out what makes their life worth living.

It could be dogs, cats, children, music etc. Be a detective
and find out. Your reward will be someone who is delighted
to talk to you.


3. Keep Up To Date With The News

Go to Google News each day to stay current on what is going
on in the world. Pick a few stories to talk about.

http://news.google.com/

You can read the headlines and also do a search on any
topic that comes to mind. This way you will never run out
of things to discuss.


4. Brainstorm Topics Of Conversation

You can do this quickly and easily at this keyword map site:

http://www.kwmap.com/

Type a word into the box in the middle of the screen and
you will be presented with related words and phrases.

If I type in pizza, I get words and phrases such as pizza
hut, pizza delivery, pasta, Ialian and delivery.

How is this useful?

Let´´s say I am going to a pizza party I could do this
brainstorming exercise beforehand. And then think up
anecdotes and personal stories for each related topic. At
the party I will be ready to chat.

You can do the same in anticipation of likely conversation
topics related to the event you will attend.


5. Use The Principle Of Reciprocity

Give first to receive. You need to offer some personal
disclosure to allow others to get to know you. And when you
tell them a little about yourself they will feel obliged to
return the favor.

There is no need to reveal overly personal details just
keep it to small talk. It is easy to mention what you have
been doing that day or that week.


6. Each Day Brainstorm Word Associations

People who love to talk and who never seem to pause for
breath have a knack for taking one idea or topic and moving
onto a related one. They do this all day long.

How do they do it?

By letting their imagination link one topic to another.
This follows on from what I said earlier.

Keep up to date with the news and use the keyword map to
come up with related topics of conversation.

7. Practice, Practice, Practice.

When you are alone practice taking a conversation from one
topic to another. Talk it through aloud and let it flow.
For example a conversation on pizza:

- pizza hut, I went there last Friday and had...
- pizza delivery, it was raining and I was starving...
- pasta, I love that new sauce at the restaurant in town...
- Italian, my cousin just married an Italian guy...
- delivery, UPS dropped off my new bike today...

For each topic just let yourself talk without restriction.

Finally, remember the point of small talk is to bond with
people. You do not have to get stuck into a serious
discussion. Be easy on yourself and bear in mind
conversation is a two way street. It´´s not all up to you.

IMPORTANT - PLEASE NOTE:

Knowing what to say is only the tip of the iceberg.

You must take charge of your emotional state or else you
will freeze when the pressure is on. Your good intentions
will be in vain if you do not feel talkative when the
moment of truth arrives.

However you CAN feel enthusiastic, confident and energetic
when you prepare correctly...

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm



Monday, September 20, 2004

People Skills... And The Success Secret You Cannot Afford To Neglect

What is the defining characteristic of all highly
successful people?

Is it hard work? Is it intelligence? Is it luck? Well, all
of these factors certainly play a part in ensuring your
success however there is one essential element.

It is the one crucial life skill that separates the workers
from the winners. What is it?

Superior people skills.

The ability to win friends and influence people will bring
you more success, more happiness and more fulfillment than
virtually any other skill you master.

Think about it.

For you to earn more you must meet and deal with new people
in a way that impresses others. You need the confidence and
the communication skills to make the most of opportunities.

And if you want a better social life you need to be able to
connect with people outside your present social circle.
Shyness and a reluctance to do new things will restrict the
choices you have.

Finally, if you want to make a personal breakthrough in
your quality of life you have to connect with those
individuals who can help you get ahead.

Unless you make a point of improving your people skills you
will be excluded from the people who can help you to get
ahead.

Enduring success depends on who you know and your ability
to form lasting mutually beneficial relationships with
powerful people. As you step up to higher levels of success
it is critical you can deal with super successful people
without feeling shy, nervous or intimidated.

And that is why you must develop greater self-confidence
and superior people skills. Otherwise you will have created
your own glass ceiling. You will never go any higher than
your soft skills allow.

Make a point of improving your communications skills each
day and take your rightful place with the winners.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm



Saturday, September 18, 2004

The Amazing Secret To Making Great Conversation With Anyone You Meet

Although you may forget at times...

You already have a great deal of the essential
communication skills it takes to make great conversation.
The only problem is you often stop yourself from performing
at your best.

You might do this by demanding perfection of yourself or by
waiting for the ideal moment before you speak up. In either
case you are setting yourself for failure when there is a
far easier way.

Sometimes all you need to achieve a personal breakthrough
is a slight shift in perspective.

I highly recommend you adopt my simple two-step approach to
communication confidence:

Two Steps To Communication Confidence:

1. Treat Conversation Starters As A Test

Make a statement or opening comment and then put all of
your attention on the other person. Pay very close
attention to his response.

Does he seem interested? When he responds, does he do so
with enthusiasm and energy?

If he does you have found a winner. Great! Keep talking
about that topic you introduced.

If the other person seems disinterested simply regard that
response as a signal to try a different topic.

It is feedback and not to be taken personally.

Now, introduce a new topic of conversation. And again pay
very close attention to the response of your listener.

To sum up. All you do is... test a conversation topic and
pay attention to feedback.

When you adopt this outlook it will take a lot of pressure
off you. You will feel more confident about starting
conversations because as long as you prepare beforehand you
will have several potential topics of conversation.

It really is just like fishing. Throw out some bait and see
what happens.

2. Keep The Winners And Drop The Losers

The more topics you explore the greater the likelihood you
will strike gold. Just keep testing the waters for the
winners that are waiting for you.

However when you do find a conversation topic that draws in
the other person keep it alive. Share your thoughts, ask
questions and make the most of the moment. Make sure you
contribute first as this encourages the other person to
share as well.

At some point that discussion will fade. Then go back to
step one and fish for more topics of common interest.

Drop those that run out of steam and invest more energy in
the ones that grab the other person.

This is exactly what world-class communicators do. They
constantly adapt to the responses of the other person.

Why?

Because conversations are a dynamic two-way interaction. To
perform well you must put most of your attention on the
other person. Then adapt to the feedback.

This is a key distinction.

And this change in perspective can give you the confidence
to be at your best when you are dealing with people.

Forget about being perfect and instead adopt an attitude of
searching for good conversation topics.

Prepare beforehand by keeping up to date with local issues
and other matters of common interest and always be ready to
use the old favorites:

- the weather
- pets
- family
- latest news

People never stop talking about these topics and they make
for easy ways to get to know people without any pressure.

Okay, time for you to get testing.

Have Fun,


Peter Murphy
Author,
How To Communicate With Unstoppable
Confidence In 20 Days Or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/


---------------------------------------------------------------------

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?

Highly Recommended Resource:

The Sedona Method

I run a fr*e discussion board where you can learn more about
this powerful self help technology. The Sedona Method teaches
you how to let go of wanting the approval of other people as
well as showing you how to improve all of your relationships by
releasing the emotional baggage we tend to hold onto.

You can also request a fr*e introductory tape or learn more
at:

http://groups.msn.com/TheSedonaMethodreleasingClub/

Friday, September 10, 2004

7 Ways To Have An Endless Supply of Great Conversation Topics

Do you ever get stuck for words or experience embarrassing
silences when you meet people?

If you do you need to apply these 7 tips right away...


1. Use topics of conversation that have worked for you
already.

It is a mistake to feel you have to be original each time
you meet a new person. Reuse jokes, stories and news that
people have found interesting and entertaining before.

What has worked before is likely to work again.


2. Discover the other person´s passion.

We all love talking about what excites us. Ask questions to
find out what makes their life worth living.

It could be dogs, cats, children, music etc. Be a detective
and find out. Your reward will be someone who is delighted
to talk to you.


3. Keep up to date with the news.

Go to Google News each day to stay current on what is going
on in the world. Pick a few stories to talk about.

http://news.google.com/

You can read the headlines and also do a search on any
topic that comes to mind. This way you will never run out
of things to discuss.


4. Brainstorm topics of conversation.

You can do this quickly and easily at this keyword map site:

http://www.kwmap.com/

Type a word into the box in the middle of the screen and
you will be presented with related words and phrases.

If I type in pizza, I get words and phrases such as pizza
hut, pizza delivery, pasta, Ialian and delivery.

How is this useful?

Let´s say I am going to a pizza party I could do this
brainstorming exercise beforehand. And then think up
anecdotes and personal stories for each related topic. At
the party I will be ready to chat.

You can do the same in anticipation of likely conversation
topics related to the event you will attend.


5. Use the principle of reciprocity.

Give first to receive. You need to offer some personal
disclosure to allow others to get to know you. And when you
tell them a little about yourself they will feel obliged to
return the favor.

There is no need to reveal overly personal details just
keep it to small talk. It is easy to mention what you have
been doing that day or that week.


6. Each day brainstorm word associations and make a game of
it.

People who love to talk and who never seem to pause for
breath have a knack for taking one idea or topic and moving
onto a related one. They do this all day long.

How do they do it?

By letting their imagination link one topic to another.
This follows on from what I said earlier.

Keep up to date with the news and use the keyword map to
come up with related topics of conversation.

7. Practice, practice, practice.

When you are alone practice taking a conversation from one
topic to another. Talk it through aloud and let it flow.
For example a conversation on pizza:

- pizza hut, I went there last Friday and had...
- pizza delivery, it was raining and I was starving...
- pasta, I love that new sauce at the restaurant in town...
- Italian, my cousin just married an Italian guy...
- delivery, UPS dropped off my new bike today...

For each topic just let yourself talk without restriction.

Finally, remember the point of small talk is to bond with
people. You do not have to get stuck into a serious
discussion. Be easy on yourself and bear in mind
conversation is a two way street. It´s not all up to you.

IMPORTANT - PLEASE NOTE:

Knowing what to say is only the tip of the iceberg.

You must take charge of your emotional state or else you
will freeze when the pressure is on. Your good intentions
will be in vain if you do not feel talkative when the
moment of truth arrives.

However you CAN feel enthusiastic, confident and energetic
when you prepare correctly...

How?

Refer back to my book and the bonus reports:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

1. Use lesson 1 in my book daily for social interaction.

2. Review the Conversation Fear report and APPLY it.

3. Revisit the How to Start a Great Conversation with
Anyone report and master those 15 distinctions.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author,
How To Communicate With Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days Or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


Monday, September 06, 2004

How You Can Develop Superior People Skills Even Faster Than You Think

Would you like to know three secrets to becoming a great
conversationalist? What if you could make a quantum leap in
your ability to communicate effectively with people?

There are three key distinctions that can help you to move
ahead even faster than you think possible...


1. Do What Works More Often

We all know what we should do but do we do it? Not usually.

Once you have a proven system for communicating effectively
it is up to you to use it each day. The challenge for most
people is that they get caught up in day to day life and
forget to apply the new techniques they have learned.

You need to make a point of using what works otherwise you
will never develop proficiency in this area of your life.

Take one technique, strategy or approach and commit to
using it five times a day for the next seven days. When you
do this you will be amazed at your rapid progress.

Before long that technique will become part of how you live
and it will become second nature to you. At this point you
can move onto another technique. Choose one and again
commit to using it daily until you master it.


2. Stop Doing What Does Not Work

We all have habits, good ones and bad ones, that seem to
have a life of their own. We do certain things in certain
ways without even thinking about it.

This can become a challenge when the habit stops you from
connecting with people. You might find that you always feel
nervous meeting new people or that your mind goes blank
when someone in a meeting asks you to share your thoughts
with the group.

In these situations you are responding on automatic in the
same way each time. A bad unconscious habit from the past
is in control - not your conscious mind in the present
moment.

You can change.

First of all identify those situations where you always get
stuck. Be as specific as possible.

Now, understand that what you are doing is not working and
never will. This is the equivalent of trying to open a door
with the wrong key. No matter how many times you try it
that door will not open. You need to drop the bad habit and
replace it with a new habit.

What is the best way to install a new habit?

Repetition with emotional intensity!

When you do so in a structured way that makes sense to your
conscious and unconscious mind you will quickly and easily
set up a new and better pattern of behavior.

Now would be a great time to revisit lesson 1 in my book:
The Confidence Super Charger can be used daily to transform
the way you communicate with others. It is a very powerful
way to reprogram your mind to stop doing what does not work
and to start doing what does work.

When you direct your mind to perform in a new way and you
do this again and again the new pattern becomes automatic.
You´ll find yourself talking to complete strangers with
confidence without nerves or anxiety.

You´ll never get stuck for words again because you will be
tapping into the vast intelligence of you mind. You´ll feel
relaxed and at ease and people will respond positively to
your words.

3. Copy And Mimic Role Models

One of the fastest ways to move ahead is to notice what
highly successful people do and then copy their approach.

Find people in your community and workplace who have great
people skills and pay very close attention to what they do.
If you can - make a point of spending time with them in
different situations.

For example I learned a lot from one of my mentors by going
shopping with him at the mall. He did the same things in
the same way in every store we visited. He even used the
same jokes with every store assistant.

Originality is overrated!

I copied his approach and it worked for me too. I now use
the same small talk, jokes and approach whenever I want to
get rapport with store assistants. And it works everywhere
I go.

This is not rocket science its common sense which
unfortunately is not that common as Mark Twain famously
pointed out.

Review the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone
report that comes with my book to find out what I do in
more detail.

To sum up.

There is no need for you to reinvent the wheel. Copy what
works and don´t make the mistake of over analyzing why it
works.

Learn by watching role models and by following their lead.
You will then move ahead much more quickly.


Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Wonderful People Skills - Do you believe you can do it?

Back when I used to find it difficult talking to people I
could never understand why so many others found it so easy.

I would watch gifted communicators talk. I would listen to
the way they spoke and it all seemed so easy. So why did I
feel so awkward when it was my turn to speak?

The reason is simple...

Success is an inside job!

How well you communicate depends on how you think and feel.
You can have the greatest script in the world but still
give a terrible speech if nerves get the better of you.

On the other hand you can exude confidence and charm and
still make a poor first impression if you do not know the
right thing to say.

In each case the key to transforming failure into success
lies within. You need to appreciate how important mental
and emotional conditioning are when it comes to developing
superior people skills.


3 Ways to Guarantee Superior People Skills:


1. Regard conversation skills as another skill you plan to
master.

Making people like you is an acquired skill. You can learn
how to encourage others to listen to you. And making a
great first impression is a matter of knowing how to.

Treat communication skills as a step by step formula to be
uncovered and learned. If even one other person can do it
well then so can you once you learn how.

When you stop giving yourself a hard time for your past
performance and instead commit to learning how to be better
you can improve very quickly.


2. Take charge of your emotional state

The greatest speech can be destroyed by a dull voice tone
and the best joke can lose its humor when it isn´t
delivered properly.

All too often in your desire to do well you freeze and
choose to say nothing in case you make a fool of yourself.

Then people say you are too quite and it starts to seem as
if you can never win. Speak up and sound foolish or stay
quiet and get criticized.

Some choice!

Fear is getting the better of you. Your fear of what might
go wrong can take on a life of its own unless you take
charge of your emotional state.

What is the answer?

The key is to develop the ability to eliminate fear - fear
of rejection, the fear of looking stupid and the fear of
saying the wrong thing.

Now, as you know there are only three ways I recommend for
dealing with fear - powerful and proven ways to take charge
of your emotional state.

(Refer back to the Conversation Fear Report that comes with
my book for more details.)
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

List the fears that hold you back and put them behind you
one at a time.


3. Allow yourself to make mistakes

One of the biggest errors I see people making is the all or
nothing attitude. i.e. I will give it my best and if I fail
I will never try again!

The challenge with that attitude is that human beings learn
by trial and error. None of us were born with the ability
to walk, talk or drive a car!

We learn all the crucial life skills by observing,
experimenting and correcting our mistakes.

If you demand 100% success and perfection you will be very
disappointed and you will never develop exceptional people
skills.

On the other hand when you allow yourself to make mistakes
it takes a lot of the pressure off you.

You will perform a lot better when you allow yourself to be
less than perfect - a work in progress that is always
maturing.

Mistakes then become evidence of areas for improvement. Get
fascinated by how you achieve both good results and not so
good results.

Notice what is working and do more of it, notice what is
not working and aim to do less of it.

One improvement after another is all it takes. Each little
modification to your approach will take you closer and
closer to a breakthrough.

Have fun getting better!

Peter Murphy
Author of,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Communication Skills: People often ask me strange questions...

- Is it really possible to go from being shy or uneasy with
people to feeling talkative, confident and unafraid?

- What can I do today to become a better conversationalist?

- Could I one day know what to say to whoever I meet?


Let me tell you the good news...

The difference in your life when you go from having average
communication skills to excellent is fantastic. It is like
night and day.

Right now your typical day may be punctuated by awkward
moments with people you cannot connect with. You might even
actively avoid certain individuals because you never know
what to say.

And most of the time you worry about what others think of
you.

The hardest part of all is editing what you say in a
constant effort to please everyone. One of your greatest
fears is that you will fail to win the approval of those
you talk to.

Night and day...

Once you master communication skills. (and this is easier
than you think)

It is as if the world changes in a heart beat. Because you
will have changed how you deal with others - they will
respond differently to you.

You will wonder how something that was once so difficult is
now so easy. And you will finally get it. You will know
that it was nothing personal all those years.

It is just a question of strategy.

Use a bad strategy and you get poor results. Use a great
strategy and you will enjoy great results.

You need to dump your old approach to dealing with people
and discover a great strategy.

What are the implications for you right now?

1. You can change how people respond to you by changing the
way you habitually interact with others.

2. The secret to acquiring great conversation skills is to
condition new ways of talking and behaving.

3. What you have been doing up to now is not working. This
is not your fault. You simply need to learn a more
effective approach.

4. Change can happen very quickly when you embrace a proven
formula that already works for others.

5. If you do not make the decision to change how you
interact with people - your relationships will not improve.

In five, ten or even twenty years time you will be as
frustrated and stuck as you are today.

You will still get stuck for words, worry about whether
people like you and dread a whole range of social
encounters.

You will still be missing out on a lot of fun and others
will be missing out on your company.

The clock is ticking...

Now would be a great time to review the special report, How
to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone, that comes with
my book at http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Then, use The Confidence Super Charger, lesson one in the
book to condition the changes.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

12 Reasons Why You Should Never Neglect People Skills

1. Exceptional people skills and the ability to start a
wonderful conversation with anyone you meet are essential
life skills. Your success and happiness are directly
related to the development of these social skills.

These skills are not optional unless you want to be
excluded from what is going on in the world.

2. In an increasingly competitive world it is your skill
with people that determines whether you move ahead more so
than your technical ability. There is a plentiful supply of
able workers but very few have great communication skills.

3. In your social life - your popularity, your acceptance
by others and the extent to which you feel valued and
appreciated depends on how well you express yourself.

4. The failure to connect with people leads to loneliness
and an uncomfortable sense of being excluded. And too much
time spent alone when you would rather be enjoying the
company of like minded people.

5. Your degree of happiness is very closely tied to the
quality of the relationships in your life. The more close
relationships you have with people who genuinely care about
you the happier you will be. And all lasting relationships
depend on good communication skills.

6. Life will always have its ups and downs. The good times
are even more fun when you are with people you like. And
the bad days are easier to handle when you can turn to
others for support and encouragement.

None of this is feasible without the ability to reach out
when you need to most of all.

7. When you reach the top of success mountain will people
even care? If you do it alone you may well jump over the
edge! True success is a team effort. You will get ahead
faster and enjoy the journey much more when you have a team
of supporters, helpers and mentors on your side.

8. Making a difference for others is one of the most
satisfying ways to feel like your time here is worthwhile.
However, positive intentions alone are not enough. You
still need to be able to get through to people if you are
to really make an impact in the lives of people who need
your help.

9. When you get to the end of your life do you want titles
or testimonials? Qualifications, awards and a track record
of achievement are all worthwhile. Just be sure you also
make a positive impression on the people you come into
contact with. Otherwise do any of those successes really
matter?

10. In a global marketplace job insecurity is becoming the
norm. At some point you may need to change job or enter a
new industry. You might even need to move to a different
state. The only way to ensure a smooth transition is to
develop exceptional people skills now.

11. Your happiness in life depends on how much love you
feel. Consequently you owe it to yourself to have a great
home life and rich friendships with a wide range of people
you like and care about. To connect with people requires
you to have good communication skills.

12. High income professionals understand the importance of
people skills. Research demonstrates that top executives
network extensively in the organization, know how to get
people to support them and put time into fostering good
working relationships with people of influence.

Neglect communication skills and you limit your happiness
and success. And by default you give others control over
your life.

The only way to be the master of your destiny is to take
charge. Know what you really want and have the courage to
stand up and be counted.

Just be sure you know the right thing to say and that you
understand how to make a great impression!

Now, review lesson 1 in my book - The Confidence Super
Charger.

When I need to be at my very best I use this technique for
up to 40 minutes a day. It is a very powerful way to
condition new behaviors.

Whenever you want to be more outgoing, more assertive or
less self-conscious use the Confidence Super Charger.

Even 10 minutes a day of focused time will help you to
quickly improve your people skills.


Bye for now,

Peter Murphy
Author,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

How To Stop Worrying About What Other People Think Of You

Do you ever find you know what to say but still you can´t
get the words out?

Or maybe you sometimes find yourself waiting for the
perfect moment before joining the conversation.

What is stopping you?

Most of the time you stop yourself from participating by
getting overly concerned about what other people think of
you.

In other words you want them to like you and to approve of
what you say. You crave approval.

Here are three great ways to win approval:


1. Know what you are talking about

Thoroughly research your topic so that you can discuss any
aspect of it with the people you are meeting.

when you know the subject matter inside out you will quite
rightly have much more confidence in yourself.

As a result you will speak with confidence and authority
and people will respond to you with respect.

The lack of adequate preparation is a big reason for not
feeling comfortable enough to contribute to a conversation.

If you already know you could look foolish it makes sense
not to say anything at all. Turn this around by becoming an
expert on your topic.

The same applies to small talk - stay informed by reading
the news and keeping up to date with what is happening
locally and nationally. You´ll soon have more than enough
material to start and keep a conversation going.


2. Don´t expect to get approval

The irony of wanting approval is that the more you want it
the less likely you are to get it. And on the other hand
when you don´t care about being approved of - you are more
likely to get it.

Make a game of it.

When you talk to people act as if you don´t want or need
their approval.

Pretend there is no way to win their approval so there is
no point in even trying to get it.

When you think in this way there is no point in worrying
about being liked so all you can do is put your attention
back on the conversation itself.

Your conversation skills will improve because your complete
attention is back on the conversation and ironically people
will approve of you more.


3. Understand how people decide if they will like you

People do not objectively assess you and what you say
before deciding if they like and approve of you.

We all make emotionally charged decisions about who to like
and why.

You might be liked for any number of reasons...

You might remind someone of an old friend, you might share
a similar life philosophy or you might have the same
fashion sense.

You could be disliked for a number of reasons...

Maybe you hold polar opposite views on politics, you don´t
like dogs and the other person does or perhaps he dislikes
people who are taller than he is.

Do you see the absurdity in all of this?

We are all irrational creatures. And we like or dislike
each other for all sorts of silly reasons.

There is one principle worth remembering though...

People tend to approve of people like themselves.

In practical terms, this means you can and should look for
commonality when you meet people.

Listen out for things you have in common and ask questions
that will reveal commonality. And then point out how the
two of you are similar...

- I am from the south side of the city too

- I like action movies as well

- Same here, I can never stick with a diet plan

- You´re not the only one who hates cabbage


The more you look for commonality the more you will find it.

Find things in common and point them out to the other
person and he or she will warm to you.

Why?

Because we tend to like and trust people who are like us.

Now would be a very good time to review the special report
that comes with my book - Conversation Fear and the Three
Ways to Kill it.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

That report shows you the most powerful ways to rid
yourself of all the fears that hold you back from
participating in conversations. It goes far beyond what we
have covered here today.

Fear will stop you from being at your best whether it is
the fear of rejection, saying the wrong thing, looking
foolish or getting embarrassed.

Deal with them one at a time and you will transform the
quality of your life and enjoy talking to people in a whole
new way.


--------<<()>>----------<<()>>----------<<()>>----------<<()>>---

Highly Recommended Resources:

1 The Sedona Method

I run a fr*e discussion board where you can learn more about
this powerful self help technology. The Sedona Method teaches
you how to let go of wanting the approval of other people as
well as showing you to improve all of your relationships by
releasing the emotional baggage we tend to hold onto.

You can also request a fr*e introductory tape or learn more at:

http://groups.msn.com/TheSedonaMethodreleasingClub/
2 AffirmWare

AffirmWare is a very clever computer application that you can
use to stay on track to achieve your goals. It is based on
breakthrough understandings of how the mind works and will help
you to make your dreams come true.

I use it and recommend it to you as a simple tool you can use
each day to improve the quality of your life in unexpected ways.

http://www.affirmware.com.au/#peter1510


How To Deal With Awkward Silences

There are three fool-proof ways to handle those moments of
silence that can make you feel self-conscious and uneasy:


1. Decide that conversation is a two way street

Whenever you are talking to someone and the conversation
grinds to a halt. Remember this...

A good conversation requires input from at least two
people. And this means that it is not up to you alone to
fix things if the dialogue fades away to nothing.

Take the pressure off yourself to be the one to make
everything right.

Pause and let the other person speak first. Give others the
opportunity to get things started again.

Very often the other person will resume the conversation as
long as you look interested in hearing more.

You can do this by being attentive and by demonstrating
your interest through your body language.

It is a good idea to keep facing the other person and to
keep the non verbal rapport alive by mirroring.


2. Decide if you want to use this silence as a way to
finish the conversation.

Does the other person want to mention anything else?

Is there anything to add?

Ask the other person these questions. This will ensure a
quick response and may reinvigorate the conversation.

Otherwise.

If the chat has come to a natural conclusion then take
control and wrap it up. You do not always have to wait and
let the other person decide if the conversation is over.

You can simply thank the other person for talking to you
and wish them well until you meet again.

When you get into the habit of doing this you will feel
more confident talking to people.

Why?

Because the fear of standing there with nothing to say will
not bother you so much...

In the future you will have the option of ending the
conversation instead of waiting for the other people to
take charge of the situation.

Finishing the conversation is a great way to put an end to
awkward silences. Obviously you will only do this AFTER you
have covered what needs to be discussed.


3. Always have a back up plan

Like I have said in the past. Adequate planning is one of
the secrets to always having something to say to people.

Nobody ever said you cannot prepare in advance by having a
stock pile of interesting stories to talk about. In fact
this is what Presidents do.

They have speech writers prepare off the cuff remarks which
are meant to appear spontaneous. Of course each statement
is planned and rehearsed.

When you have a whole range of topics you can talk about it
becomes very difficult to get stuck for words.

And you will find that the issues and topics that work best
will work for most people you talk to. If a particular
topic works very well for a few people it will probably
work just as well for most people you meet.

When I tell jokes for example. I always start by telling
the new ones to my best friends. If they go down well and
everyone laughs I will use those jokes again with people I
don´t know very well and when I meet new people.

You can test jokes, conversation topics and personal
stories and pay attention to see which ones get the best
response.

Then drop the ones few people like and keep using the
popular ones.

There is no need to be original!

What else can you do?

Go to the bonus reports that come with my book and...

Review the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone
report. Then start using the 15 great distinctions that
will make your conversations sing.


Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


What would it be like if you were unable to worry?

Imagine feeling secure about the future and looking forward
to it with an excitement you have not felt since you were a
child.

What I am going to talk about today is not for everyone...

If you are open minded and of at least average intelligence
the following information could lead you to the most
important breakthrough of your entire life....

If you are as busy as me -- you know that making your life
better sometimes takes a back seat to dealing with that
never ending list of things to do that never gets done.

This is why as the UPS driver handed me the package and as
I signed his electonic pad -- I honestly did not know when
I would get a chance to listen to the potentially life
changing information I now held in my hands.

Later that evening...

I switched off the PC, ignored the TV and the phone... and
ripped open the first set of tapes.

Although some of what I listened to was familiar -- a lot
of it was totally different to anything I have ever heard.

This course produced by Larry Crane, a self made
millionaire, offers a new and refreshing alternative to
getting what you want whether that be greater happiness,
more confidence or greater success... and it works.

But first.

Let me tell you about Larry...

Larry was a very successful business man. He was
written up in the business press, including TIME magazine,
and made millions for himself.

And he had the luxury cars and planes, an expensive home and
he could buy whatever he wanted.

But.

He was extremely unhappy. In fact he was miserable and
hated his life. And he was angry and totally stressed out.

One night he even considered jumping off the roof terrace
of his 10 room Manhattan penthouse apartment. For about two
hours he contemplated jumping.

He didn´t.

This was a TURNING POINT and put him on a search for a way
to succeed and be happy without feeling stressed out,
worried and anxious.

His quest lead him to Lester Levenson and The Release
Technique...

http://www.workwealth.com/rt.htm


Let me tell you what I have gained already from listening
to this unusual course:


What Have I got from the Release Technique?


1. I Stopped Worrying

Like most people I have a knack for worrying about what
might go wrong. Even though I make a point of being
positive.

I can still have a few worrying thoughts working away in
the back of my mind that stop me from feeling total peace
of mind.

After listening to tape 4B its as if my worrying program
has short circuited. I feel secure about the future in a
way I never have before.

All of that negative thinking that used to tire me out and
leave me feeling anxious has evaporated.

And if I want to give this new state of mind even more
energy I can simply listen to this tape again anytime I
want.


2. I Feel Happier.

Even after listening to the first 5 tapes of this 10 tape
package I felt happier. All I did was follow along and do
the exercises under Larry´s guidance and things started to
feel different.

I feel lighter and more at ease with myself.

I notice myself smiling for no reason whatsoever. And when
you think about it shouldn´t this be true for all of us.


3. Problems Seem Less of a Challenge

Problems don´t seem so overwhelming and I have a new sense
of possibility. Whatever I put my mind to I can achieve.

I can think more clearly and find new and better solutions
to whatever challenges I am facing. This alone has given me
a whole new sense of what is possible.


4. I Approve of Myself More

I already knew that when it comes to having more success
that money does not motivate me once I have enough.

After completing the course it hit me. What I really want
by succeeding is the approval and respect of my role models.

And ironically this craving approval stops me from giving
100% Why? Because I am afraid I won´t get it.

The solution? Let go of wanting this approval.

I have been doing this for the past two days and I have had
the most productive week I have had in months and with less
EFFORT. It feels like I am in the flow...

I am making better decisions, taking less time to get
things done and not holding back when it comes to really
excelling with my work.

Imagine feeling like this every day!


You can...

Take a look at the Release Technique site and see what you
think.

http://www.workwealth.com/rt.htm

You can listen to some fascinating audio recordings and
discover why this breakthrough technique is used by the
rich and famous including:

- Joan Collins, actress

- Norman Vincent Peale, Author, The Power of Positive
Thinking

- Sally Jesse Raphael, TV Talk Show Hostess

- Britt Eklund, actress

- Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia

- Laura Dern, actress

- Diane Ladd, actress


There is also a fr*e newsletter you can sign up for at:

http://www.workwealth.com/rt.htm


Have Fun,

Peter

How To Get People To Help You

You can achieve great success in life if you know two
things.

Firstly, who to turn to for advice and guidance. And
secondly how to get those individuals to help you.

If you can get people to help you you did not need much
money, brains or originality. All you need to do is ask and
receive in a way that is for the good of all concerned.

When people work together the resulting synergy can be
very powerful.

I recommend three ways to get people to help you.


1. Choose the best person to ask

If you need a billion dollars there is no point in asking
for my help because I don´t keep that kind of money in my
wallet!

If you want relationship advice don´t ask someone whose
life is a series of failed relationhsips.

Only ask someone to help if that person has a successful
track record when it comes to the issue on your mind.

Ask for help from those who are able to help AND willing to
help.


2. Give first

Do not approach someone out of the blue. And then ask that
individual to drop everything and devote the rest of the
day to solving your problems.

Make a point of doing something for that other person first
in the days and weeks before you ask for help. This is only
fair and allows the two of you to get to know each other.

You will find people much more open to helping you when
they already know and like you. And especially when you
have already done them a favor or two.


3. Be strong

The worst way to ask for help is to do so by looking for
pity. If you approach capable people, and moan and complain
they will have little patience for your whining.

You need to feel good about yourself and be strong. Treat
that other person as an equal even if he or she has more
ability than you in a particular area.

When you feel strong and communicate from strength you will
be able to effortlessly build rapport with the powerful
person listening attentively to your every word.


These three pointers will take you a long way when your
self-esteem is high. Feeling good about yourself allows you
to admit you need help and to ask for it with confidence.

Without high self-esteem you will put off approaching
people that would be delighted to help you. And your mole
hills may well turn into mountains.

Now.

Get out my book and review Lesson 12 - The
Self-Appreciation Enhancer, and your self-esteem will soar
like an eagle.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

P.S. Don´t be fooled by the simplicity in this article. When you act on
this highly specific advice you will discover for yourself how accurate
these tips really are.

12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills

Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning
how to develop exceptional people skills?

Here´s why.

Look at the people who seem to have it all - a great job,
an active social life and a happy family life. What do
these people have in common?

They all have excellent communication skills.

To join the people at the top and to live a more fulfilling
and enjoyable life there is no alternative but to become
one of the few that have truly mastered advanced
communication skills.

There are at least a dozen good reasons to learn the
secrets of making great conversation.

1. Get paid more. Studies have proved that the people who
get ahead fastest are those who network within the
organization. This ability is crucial when you need to get
things done. Plus, it is the only reliable way to be
informed of what is really going on in the workplace

2. Become more successful at work. Exceptional people
skills cause your superiors to hold you in high esteem.
When you project confidence others become more confident in
your abilities. This in turn means you get to work on more
important projects.

3. Improve the quality of your relationships at home. When
you express yourself with clarity and skill there is less
potential for confusion, disagreements and relationship
problems.

4. Understand other people better. Most people do not know
what makes others tick. When you discover the patterns that
are the basis for all communication you will effortlessly
create deep rapport with everyone you meet.

5. Be in control of your life. As a master of communication
you can easily win the approval of other people and enlist
their help when you need it.

6. Never worry about rejection. When you discover the right
way to view encounters that do not go your way you will
laugh at those situations that used to leave you vulnerable.

7. Easily start conversations with anyone you meet. This is
a priceless skill to have and will fill your day with joy.
You will quickly break down the barriers between people
when you always know what to say.

8. Have clarity and purpose when you talk. When you decide
why you want to talk and what you want to achieve with your
words you have the secret to a conversation that takes on a
life of its own.

9. Win the approval of people you admire. You will talk to
everyone as an equal once you boost your self-esteem and
let go of needing approval. This is achievable with the
right tools.

10. Put an end to feeling self-conscious. This one factor
can transform your dealings with people - socially and at
work. You will feel more at ease and more in control even
in demanding situations.

11. Master small talk. This seemingly difficult skill is
easier than you think when you discover the secrets to
doing it right. When you know how - small talk will open
doors that were always locked to you in the past.

12. Develop exceptional listening skills. As a great
listener you stand out from the crowd and command the
appreciation and undivided attention of others. This
overlooked skill is the key to fostering life long
friendships.


*** Exceptional people skills can be learned ***

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed
at how quickly you will progress.

Although some people fear otherwise, people skills can be
learned by anyone of at least average intelligence. The
difficulties you had in the past will not stop you making
rapid progress now.

What matters is learning a proven approach you can use for
the rest of your life.

I did it. It only took me 14 years.

Are there any short cuts to learning exceptional people
skills? There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
Author of,
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 days or Less

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

If You Want Exceptional Communication Skills - Here is the

Why is it so rare that you can talk to people and let your
personality shine?

Sometimes you have plenty to say and not for a moment do
you hesitate when it comes to expressing your opinions.

Starting conversations is easy, keeping them going is a
breeze and knowing what to say is second nature to you.

But..

At other times you feel shy or uncomfortable speaking up,
you worry about how people will react to what you say and
you get stuck for words.

Keeping the conversation going feels incredibly difficult
and you feel awkward and even self-conscious.

It is like you have become a completely different person.

What happened to the real you?

I could never understand why I would behave like this until
I found the solution. And then it all made perfect sense.

You see if you can have a good conversation with even one
person in your life you already know how to have a good
conversation with almost anyone you ever meet.

You already know how to start a conversation and how to
keep it going - the problem is that in certain situations
you freeze.

Why do you freeze if you know what to do?

What happens is that you get overly concerned about what
other people think of you. Their approval or lack of
approval becomes such a big issue for you that you get
tense and so nervous that you cannot even think straight.

You need to discover how to fade this need for approval
into the background. So that those feelings that hold you
back fizzle away to nothing.

When this happens you will feel a wonderful sense of
lightness and freedom. It is as if a huge weight has been
lifted from your shoulders. And your sense of relief will
leave you feeling happy and brighter than you can imagine.

Since the summer of 1999 I have been using a breakthrough
approach that will let you eliminate this limiting behavior.

As long as you are open to learning some new ideas - you
can expect a radical change in how you deal with people.

You will put worries about feeling rejected in the past,
say bye to getting overly concerned about what people think
of you and let your true personality come out.

All of these fears can be left behind.

I have had great results with this new approach and I think
you will find it just as valuable.

To find out more go to:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/approval.htm

Have Fun,

Peter

P.S. At this site you can get a fr*e newsletter as well as
some informative articles.


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/approval.htm