Thursday, December 16, 2004

How To Build Self-Confidence To Improve Your Life

How To Build Self-Confidence To Improve Your Life
by Peter Murphy

One of the best personal attributes one can have is self-confidence. A positive relationship with others fosters a sense of self-worth that contributes to the image you have of yourself. Even if you are shy and retiring, you can develop the self-confidence you need to propel you from obscurity into a place of honor within your circle of acquaintances.

Self-confidence can help you develop new friends, and may even help you get that promotion you want at work. Recent research shows that supervisors value your attitude more than your actual knowledge about your job. The job can be learned, but an attitude is a personality trait that comes naturally to those who are self-confident. If you are not self-confident, there are techniques that can help you build self-confidence.

1. You have to invest time to learn how to build self-confidence. Even those who appear to be very self-confident have faced situations where they were not comfortable in groups and felt alone and rejected. Observe the actions of self-confident people and make their personality traits yours as well. You can imitate their actions and slowly learn to develop your own personality traits that lead to self-confidence.

2. Most people dread walking into a room filled with strangers, either at work, conferences or parties. It is difficult to appear to be forceful and confident, but if you practice putting on a happy face, it will soon become second nature for you to do so (and may even help you actually be happy). Attend social functions even though you'd rather stay at home reading a book. Practice your confidence-building techniques until they become part of your personality.

3. Appearances count for a lot in projecting an image of a self-confident individual. When interacting with others, don't stay glued to the wall. Mingle with others and initiate conversations in a friendly, interested manner. Even though you may be quaking with insecurities inside, if you appear self-confident it becomes easier to converse with others and will also make you more approachable.

4. When you project a self-assured image, you'll find that others respond in a positive manner to your overtures of friendship. Don't be afraid to join a group or activity that is already in progress. You have something to contribute, and others will know it.

5. We've all admired and envied the person who has the "gift of gab." They appear to effortlessly engage in conversation in any group on any subject. These people aren't necessarily born with this ability. For most people it is an acquired trait that is learned over a period of time. It is important to be in tune with others by observing their expressions, their emotions and body language to know whether they are approachable or genuinely want to be left alone. Remember, though, that even a loner will appreciate a friendly greeting.

6. Being a good conversationalist is essential when learning how to build self-confidence. Off-the-wall comments, while they do have their place perhaps during a lull in the conversation, are generally avoided. Your contributions to a conversation need to be on target with the subject being discussed. Easing into a conversation gradually after listening for a few minutes is preferable to simply butting in. Watch for an opening in the conversation to introduce yourself and make a comment or two; don't hog the conversation.

The process of building self-confidence can be a long, arduous process that takes time. Be prepared for rejection some of the time but don't take it as a personal rebuff. Keep up your self-confident image and practice what you've learned about building self-confidence. It will soon come naturally to you.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com


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