Thursday, December 16, 2004

Pull Yourself Together and Learn How To Be Confident

Pull Yourself Together and Learn How To Be Confident
by Peter Murphy

It may come as a big surprise to you to know that everything is not all about you. You may be the center of your own little universe, but you are not the center of everyone else's. The world doesn't revolve around you, and the world doesn't owe you a thing.

It does no good to sulk when you do not get the admiration or the attention you crave. It does even less good to think negative thoughts about yourself and admonish yourself for "saying the wrong thing" to someone or feel that you've messed up again in your relationship with others. This type of thinking only further reinforces the fact that you have little or no self-confidence.

The harsh truth is - get over it. You are someone special. You are smart. You are interesting and appealing to others. You have a message for the world, and you need to learn to get the message out. A few suggestions here can help you project the image you want to world to see.

1. It's not always about you. Maybe the person you think slighted you has had a bad day, or heaven forbid, maybe the person just isn't nice. You can turn the situation around by asking some general, interesting questions about the person. This may bring the person out of the bad mood and who knows, you might put a little sunshine into someone else's life for a change.

2. Quit taking everything so personally. Accept the fact that some people just aren't socially adept, and they may have even less self-confidence than you do. Don't let someone else spoil your day. Don't respond to negative feelings and above all, don't let yourself be provoked. Think positive to keep your emotions in check. Negative thoughts sap your energy and serve no purpose.

3. Do you think you're the only one out there who gets rejected? Think again! There are selfish people who only think "me, me, me" to the exclusion of everyone else. Even the most successful people are rejected (singer/songwriter Rod Stewart was rejected several times because his voice was "too gravelly and coarse." He didn't give up and today is rich and famous.)

4. Don't give up. The old saying, "if at first you don't succeed, try again" holds true for the person with no self-confidence. If things don't go your way, come up with an alternate plan. If that's not accepted (remember, it not about you; it's about an idea) keep trying.

5. Stop focusing on yourself and dwelling on your perceived shortcomings all the time. Focus instead on your goals and what you have to do to achieve them. Stop talking about yourself all the time. Other people get tired of hearing about you constantly. Concentrate on a genuine conversation about other people and other topics.

With a little self-help, you can overcome your feelings of inadequacy and learn how to be confident. While you are honing your skills at becoming confident, the image you want to project is one of a person who is in command of self and someone worth knowing and sharing ideas and conversations with.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

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