How To Start A Good Conversation

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How to Laugh in the Face of Rejection

Today I am releasing a new and controversial breakthrough
solution to the one problem that most people hope will go
away all by itself.

Find out why this will make such a big difference to so
many people. Click here now:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/laughatrejection.htm


Enjoy!

Peter Murphy

The People Who Can Help You Get What You Want

The latest article is posted here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/

Some of the ideas are a little controversial so don´t pass this link on.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/2006/01/24/the-people-who-can-help-you-the-most/

The Reason Why Communication Success is an Inside Job

What I am going to talk about today is quite personal. By
sharing a personal story I hope you will grasp just why
excellent communication skills are not just a nice to have
-- these skills are essential if you are to get what you
deserve and need for yourself and those you care about.

Let me explain...

I just got off the phone with my friend Kim. She had good
news and bad news. The good news first - her mother has
just got the all clear from the hospital and is now clear
of breast cancer. The procedure was a success.

The bad news, her mother has an aggressive form of cancer.
The really bad news... the doctor told her to come back in
6 months. That´s right, because of hospital budgets and
management policies they have no intention of keeping a
close eye on her situation. They have no plans to do
anything unless and until symptoms reoccur.

Kim heard this and hit the roof. She rushed to the hospital
and met with the doctor. She then discussed the seriousness
of her mothers condition and asked the doctor for help and
guidance.

She then went one step further - she got the doctor to try
harder and to commit to getting her mother the best
treatment possible. Kim used charm, persuasion and
personality to win over the doctor.

What´s interesting about all this is that if Kim had not
spoken up her mother would not now be benefiting from the
dedicated and committed attention of the hospital.

Kim´s mother would be one more victim of a resource
strapped health care system - forgotten about and left
untreated when she needs it the most.

What is the big lesson for you and I?

When you know how to make a great impression good things
happen; when you can win people over resources are at your
disposal that others do without; when you can stand up and
be counted even with the pressure on, people listen to you.
Others want to be with you and they are more than happy to
help you get what you want.

We live in busy hectic times and those who speak up and
know how to win peoples attention, confidence and support
dominate in business. These same people also enjoy full and
happy social lives. These individuals are popular,
respected, liked and appreciated by their friends.

Life is not fair. You are much more likely to get what you
want if you go and ask for what you want.... and especially
if people like and respect you.

Those who remain passive and unsure end up getting what is
left over. They take what they can get.

The funny thing is your life does not need to be like this.
You CAN get what you want. But first you need to discover
how the game is really played. You need to realize that
success with people is an inside job.

When you see smiling, confident, dynamic people you see
those who have mastered the inner game of communication
confidence. They know how to feel great about themselves,
they know how to transfer this charisma to whoever they
meet.

People like Kim...

She know how to step up and make people respond to her
requests. Even under pressure, even in a life and death
situation she can calmly and confidently ask for and get
what is needed. And thankfully her mother will now live
longer to enjoy her grandchildren.

You can do the same...

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

Difficult Conversations and How to Turn Them Around

by Peter Murphy

Many of us have run into difficult people. Some people even
like difficult conversations. Arguments are necessary and
are going to happen, but this difficulty shouldn’t stop you
from communicating.

Nobody agrees 100% of the time, so arguing is a natural
part of the conversation. However, some arguments are
unproductive and lead to hard feelings and can even ruin
relationships.

Knowing how to deal with difficult conversations can ensure
that your argument will not turn out too bad.

The following tips will help you to argue more effectively.
You will see how you can learn from an argument and what is
necessary to make sure an argument ends on the right foot.

Tip#1 Communicate effectively.

You should not use yelling and harsh words to get your
point across. Instead speak calmly and be cautious of words
you use. Use sentences that say "I" instead of blaming
sentences that use "You".

You should always be aware that you have a point and try to
explain it while also taking in the other persons point.
Don´t let anyone give you the impression your opinion is
not worth expressing.

Tip#2 Remember the other person.

There are two sides to any argument. You should give the
other person respect and listen to their side. Do not shut
them out.

Do not stray from the topic at hand. Most often people
start bringing up past fights or other things that are
completely unrelated to the current argument. Doing his can
cause the other person to shut down and not even want to
speak to you.

Tip#3 Focus.

You should be really trying to work out the problem. Keep
feelings out of the mix. Do not try to make the other
person feel bad because they disagree with you. Watch their
body language to see if they are tense or starting to feel
relaxed.

Arguments go better when people can relax a little. This
helps them to listen better. Be specific with what you
think and what you want the outcome to be. Avoid using the
phrase "I don’t know".

Tip#4 Resolution.

The ultimate goal with difficult conversations is to
resolve the issue. Try to work out a compromise. Perhaps
someone will have changed their mind by the end. You need
to resolve any negative feelings that may have cropped up
as a result of the argument.

You want everything to return to as it was before the
argument. Nobody should hold any resentment or the argument
was never really resolved.

You do not have to fight to get things done. You can use
these tips in almost any atmosphere where difficult
conversations may crop up.

It doesn’t even matter if the other person is not reacting
this way, as long as you use these tips the other person
should calm down as well. You are not only arguing
effectively, but teaching others by example how to argue
better.

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to improve your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start.

Communicating with confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It took me many years to figure out a fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills?

There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.

The Best Way To Get People To Like You

by Peter Murphy

What does everyone want? When you think about it there is
one human need that can never be satisfied for very long.

Like hunger it demands to be attended to until we are
content and if we ignore it for too long we just don´t feel
right.

I am of course talking about the approval of other people.
We all want and indeed need to be liked by others and yet
we never seem to get enough affection, attention or love.

Of course there is a right way and a wrong way of getting
people to like you. If you demand to be liked, force others
to approve of you or constantly seek approval the end
result is always the same - you end up pushing people away.

What is the best way to get people to like you? The answer
is so obvious and so simple that most people will never
accept that it is so. Still, I´ll tell you.

The secret is to firstly approve of yourself and secondly
to choose to find the good in others. When you apply both
of these principles it causes people to respond positively
to you.

Why?

Because as we know only 7% of communication is verbal. When
you feel great about your self it comes across in your
voice tone and facial expressions.

That glow of self approval is very attractive to other
people and virtually forces them to pay more attention to
you and whatever you say.

Now, go to lesson 12 in my book: The Self Appreciation
Enhancer. This technique is a quick and easy way to boost
your self-esteem on a daily basis.

Make a point of feeling great because the happier you feel
the greater the impact your words will have on everyone you
meet.

And when you look for the good in others they can see it in
your eyes, hear it in your words and notice your interest
in them.

Make time for activities and people that energize you. And
of course do schedule in time to recharge so that when you
need to be at your best you have an abundance of energy to
draw on.

Bye for now,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is the author of the proven system for
transforming self-doubt into self-confidence. Develop
great conversation skills and master small talk.

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

What To Do When People Don´t Listen

by Peter Murphy

Whether you like it or not sometimes people will ignore you
or pretend they are listening to you when they are not. As
you know this can be very frustrating.

So what can you do?

The first thing to remember is that there is no point in
continuing to do what is not working. If what you are doing
is ineffective take a moment to accept that fact.

Shift your focus away from pushing to be heard and instead
get creative and ask yourself...

How can I attract attention?

Here are 4 great ideas for attracting attention when you
want to be listened to:

1. Speak more softly

This sounds counter intuitive but can be highly effective
if you had attention initially . Think about it. When
someone is speaking and you cannot hear what is being said
doesn´t that arouse your curiosity?

Of course it does!

And most people will ask you to speak up as long as they
are not preoccupied doing something else. The secret is to
speak with enthusiasm and energy but very softly. This can
ignite an intense urgent curiosity that forces the other
person to pay very close attention to you.

When you speak more softly the other person has no choice -
she must pay close attention to you. This is a great way to
take control of the conversation.

2. Stop talking

If the other person is pretending to listen to you it is
good to stop talking. Stop and wait to see how the other
person reacts.

Let the silence linger until he encourages you to resume.
If he says nothing at all you can then ask for feedback on
what you said.

This puts the other person under pressure to start paying
more attention to what you are saying.

3. Create a diversion

When the other person is clearly not paying attention it is
good to break that pattern by creating a diversion. This
can take many forms such as asking for input, saying
something controversial or doing something silly.

For example you could ask an unusual question that forces
someone to pay attention and respond in some way. Maybe out
of the blue you ask someone: what is your favorite flavor
of ice cream?

Yes, it has nothing to do with the ongoing conversation and
for this reason it breaks the pattern - you are speaking
and the other person is not really paying attention.

Once you recapture attention you can then get back on
topic. Obviously you need to be careful with this concept
and adapt it to the context and people you are talking to.

4. Vary volume, tempo and tone

When you add variety to the way you are expressing yourself
it is very hard to ignore you. It´s like when you hear good
music it forces you to listen because of the variance in
tempo, rhythm and tone. The same applies to speaking in an
interesting way.

Play with emphasizing key words, pause for dramatic effect
and talk more quickly or more slowly to keep the other
person paying attention.

It takes a little practice to get this right and when you
do people will find it very difficult to not give you their
undivided attention.

Developing these people skills may require some work and
dedication, depending on the extent of help you need. One
of the most important parts of being a "people person" is
to be a positive thinker who is optimistic, motivated and
projects a positive image and attitude.

You should work every day to send out positive and creative
signals to others by your words, actions and body language.
The way you act can have either a negative or positive
impact on others as well as yourself.

If you want to succeed in both your personal and
professional life, or further develop your people skills,
it is crucial to change from a pattern of destructive,
negative thoughts to positive, creative thinking.

Don't hesitate or give a halfhearted effort in finding a
way to increase your people skills. You can change your
life and now is the time to start. Communicating with
confidence can be learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, exceptional people skills can be learned by
anyone of at least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years to figure out the fool proof
formula anyone can use. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills? There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured.

Reserve your place here:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today. P.S. the key to greater
success and happiness in life is simple - make new friends,
develop new contacts, help others and let others help you.
Without better people skills we all get stuck where we are.

The 4 Secrets to Communication Magic

by Peter Murphy

1 Listen effectively

How many people do you know who truly listen to every word
you say? Think about the people you enjoy being with the
most. Isn´t it true they really pay close attention to you
when you have something important to say?

It´s a shame but very few people care enough to really
listen attentively to the people in their life. They get so
busy and caught up in their own problems that they are
rarely completely present for anyone.

When you develop superior listening skills you will be head
and shoulders above most other people who know better but
still don´t listen.

Being a great listener is a sure fire way to make new
friends, to make people feel deeply appreciated and to
build deep rapport grounded in mutual trust and respect.

2 Know your purpose

Quality communication requires you to know not only what
you want to discuss but also why you want to talk about
that topic. A clear and definite sense of purpose will
guide you and help you to be flexible in your approach.

Mediocre and poor standards of communication share a lack
of purpose that destroys any potential for meaningful
effective communication.

You need a clear sense of purpose to ensure you persist and
maintain flexibility when the dialogue goes off track. It
is far too easy to let the conversation drift unless you
hold in mind your purpose.

Your purpose might be to win acceptance of an idea, to get
a friend to do something for you or it might be to arrange
a family day out.

Whatever the nature of the discussion unless you know your
purpose you are unlikely to achieve what you set out to get
done.

3 Share your insights and opinions

You are a unique individual with interesting personal
viewpoints and a perspective all of your own. You must have
the courage to express yourself as you are to truly be
effective.

The world does not need another clone of someone else. Sing
your song or the whole world misses out on your special
sound.

The confidence to be yourself can be developed quickly and
easily with the right guidance and appropriate strategies.

And it is essential that you do so right away. It is far
too easy to let another week, month or year slip by without
any noticeable improvement in your life.

Decide to share more of yourself and make a point of
letting others know what you think and feel. Do so with
rapport and you may well find that people are very
interested to hear what you have to say.

4 Make sure you have a common understanding

High quality communication is characterized by an ongoing
dialogue that is punctuated by checks for understanding by
all parties to the conversation.

Each person must check that everyone involved is singing
off the same hymn sheet or else the potential for
misunderstanding and confusion is huge.

The failure to check assumptions are valid and that the
other people present know what you mean takes skill and
constant attention to both verbal and non verbal cues.

In many ways a free flowing conversation is very much like
driving a car. Unless you are watching for feedback and
aware of what is going on you will not be able to steer the
conversation and keep it on track.

Now, bear in mind that confidence is the glue that binds
these conversation tips together to ensure your success.

If you feel good about yourself, if you feel confident and
at ease others assume you to be confident and at ease. They
then respect you more. And all because you decided to
respect yourself.

But, when you are fearful you give off different vibes and
because you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.

And this is why you must identify and let go of your
conversation fear - the fear that stops you from enjoying
the company of others.

Drop the fear and notice how people are much more
interested in getting to know you better. Why? Because you
are letting your true personality shine.

What can you do right now to beat conversation fear?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my
book. Click here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start
and keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this
in the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book.

Click here to trial the system for 365 days:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great day,

Peter Murphy

P.S. Remember, this is a course that requires you to put
the strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and
your success is assured.

My step-by-step course reveals the secret strategies all
high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now for your 365 day trial at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

The force that stops you from speaking up

by Peter Murphy

There is a powerful force that stops you from speaking up.
It is the same force that prevents you from making your
voice count and it is the reason why others ignore you or
fail to appreciate what you have to offer.

In fact, this force is responsible for most of the lack of
enjoyment, fulfillment and even the limited appreciation
you experience in your day to day life.

Why is this? Because this force keeps people away from you
and stops you from connecting with people you want to know
better.

Thankfully, there is a solution and those who know how have
overcome the same negative force that holds you back. These
people enjoy superior relationships, greater career success
and a busy social life with friends who love and appreciate
them.

I am talking about the fear that stops you from approaching
new people, saying what is really on your mind or
expressing your true personality.

If you ever feel like you need either permission to speak
up or approval from someone before really being yourself
then you know what I mean. It´s as if the rules you learned
as a child are still governing your life: only speak when
spoken to.

Unfortunately as adults we know what happens when we wait
for permission to speak up. That´s right, someone else
takes our place!

Imagine for a moment what your life would be like if you
could drop this tendency to hold yourself back. Your
typical day would be so different. Think of the fun you
would have joking with people.

Imagine all the new people you´d get to know and think
about how good you would feel being an active participant
rather than hiding on the periphery of the group.

Right now, it is as if an imaginary barrier is keeping you
away from other people. And yes, it is imaginary, it is not
real except in your mind.

The people who connect with others, those who are all
smiles and radiating warm confidence simply look at the
world differently. The world is not different - it merely
looks different to them. You can join them when you drop
the self imposed restrictions that are holding you back.

Face your fears and drop them one by one. You do this by
changing how you think - not by changing the world. As soon
as you feel differently about dealing with people others
will notice the change in you and start treating you
differently.

That´s the funny thing about life - to change the world
change yourself and the people in your world will follow
your lead. They respond to you by reflecting back how you
feel about yourself.

If you feel good about yourself, if you feel confident and
at ease others assume you to be confident and at ease. They
then respect you more. And all because you decided to
respect yourself.

But, when you are fearful you give off different vibes and
because you are avoiding people they tend to avoid you.

And this is why you must identify and let go of your
conversation fear - the fear that stops you from enjoying
the company of others.

Drop the fear and notice how people are much more
interested in getting to know you better. Why? Because you
are letting your true personality shine.

What can you do right now to beat conversation fear?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my
book. Click here now:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start
and keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this
in the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book.

Click here to trial the system for 365 days:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great day,

Peter Murphy

P.S. Remember, this is a course that requires you to put
the strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and
your success is assured.

My step-by-step course reveals the secret strategies all
high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact.
Apply now for your 365 day trial at:


http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

7 Important Reasons To Master People Skills

1. The better your people skills the easier it is to make
new friends. You can effortlessly expand your circle of
friends when you exude a charm and ease that attracts
people to you.

2. Do you want to be happy? Lasting happiness requires you
to have mutually supportive relationships with family and
friends. The greater the rapport you cultivate with the
important people in your life the happier you will be.

3. You will eliminate many of the problems that plague most
people. The most stressful problems are usually lingering
people problems. When you master the ability to resolve
conflict and find win-win solutions you can enjoy much less
day to day stress.

4. Expand opportunities for personal and professional
growth. The more people like and appreciate you the more
likely you are to hear of new opportunities that can
benefit you.

The people you know are your greatest resource and many
will be happy to help you move ahead as long as they like
you.

5. Neglect people skills and you will remain in a rut and
out of touch. You will fall behind in your work and in your
community because you will be the last to hear of new
developments and initiatives. Life will become increasingly
difficult and stressful because you are out of the loop.

6. If you are neglecting people skills loneliness will grow
as friends move on and you fail to connect with new people.
Even if you have many people to talk to you could still
lack a deep connection with people who understand you.

7. Be yourself with those who care for you. Nothing
compares with the enjoyment of freely expressing yourself
with true friends without fear of criticism. It´s a
wonderful relief from the dogma of a politically correct
society.

Neglect communication skills and you limit your happiness
and success. And by default you give others control over
your life. The only way to be the master of your destiny is
to take charge. Know what you really want and have the
courage to stand up and be counted.

What works best?

In my own experience and that of thousands of people who
use my approach each day -- it is absolutely realistic for
you to make a massive and immediate improvement in your
quality of life WHEN you get your hands on accurate advice
and techniques that work for real people like you and I.

You really do deserve to be respected and appreciated by
the people in your life. You already know deep down that
you want your voice to be heard. You want to count.

Having said that I must warn you - do not test my step by
step system unless you can follow instructions. I tell you
exactly what you need to do to develop superior people
skills but I cannot do it for you.

Applying the principles and techniques is up to you. That´s
why now is the ideal time for you to get your hands on my
proven step by step system - test it for 365 days and prove
to yourself that advanced communication skills are easy to
learn when you have accurate information.

Click here now to reserve your 365 day trial:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

P.S. I advise you to reserve your place today to ensure you
are not on a waiting list for email coaching. I have only
so many hours in the day!

And if it gets any busier I may have to drop that special
bonus from the list of 7 extra bonuses so click here now to
view the bonuses:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Meeting New People?

The ability to make a great first impression is a valuable
life skill that can help you to have all you want in life -
in business and socially.

As you improve your people skills you can expect greater
happiness, more success and an abundance of opportunities
for personal growth. That is, once you have identified and
eliminated the most common barriers to great conversation.

Let´s identify the five common mistakes people make when
meeting new people.

1. Trying too hard to be liked

Although we all want to be liked, ironically, the worst way
to win approval is to desperately need it. When you are too
needy it repels people. They sense that you do not value
yourself and as a result they are more likely to treat you
harshly.

Thankfully there is a solution. The more you love and
approve of yourself the more others will tend to like you.

People reflect back what you feel about yourself so make a
point of building your self-esteem and notice the positive
change in how pleased people are to meet you.

2. Pretending to be something you are not

In our efforts to impress new people it can be tempting to
suddenly reinvent ourselves so as to make a good first
impression. This tactic rarely works because it is very
difficult to project a false persona unless you are a very
good actor.

Very often all that happens is that you feel tense and
under pressure to play the role you have invented while the
other person is unable to trust you. Invariably you fail to
make a good first impression and even risk making a fool of
yourself.

It is far better to be natural and to express your true
personality. When you do so with confidence others will be
much more likely to accept and like you for who you really
are.

Think about it.

It is much easier to like and respect someone who is
genuine and honest about who they are. In fact being
authentic is one of the most attractive qualities you can
develop.

3. Prejudging the other person

We all do it at times. We take one look at someone and
decide before even talking to him what kind of person he is.

Call it mind reading if you like but making such
assumptions and pre judements can severely affect how much
fun you have meeting new people.

This attitude can stop you from approaching people, cause
you to miss out on making new friends and make it difficult
for new people to get your undivided attention when getting
to know you.

A more practical approach is to allow each person the
opportunity to speak before you decide what the person is
all about. And make sure to switch off your assumptions for
a moment to really listen to what is being said.

4. Talking too much and not listening

Sometimes because of nerves it can be tempting to keep
talking to ensure there are no awkward silences. The
trouble with this habit is that eventually you stop
listening when the other person is speaking because you use
that times to think of what to say next.

Let the other person share the load. Give her an
opportunity to lead the conversation, listen closely to
what is said and then develop the conversation based on
what she has contributed.

When you do this, meeting new people is a lot less
stressful -- making conversation becomes a team effort
rather than a struggle to keep talking.

5. Letting the other person control the conversation

When you meet someone for the first time it is reasonable
to expect some breaks in the conversation until you
discover topics of common interest.

Remaining passive during these pauses means waiting for the
other person to either drive the conversation forward or
end it. If you adopt this attitude you are giving up
control of the conversation.

Take back control. You can do this in two ways: either ask
questions to move the dialogue along or be adventurous and
introduce new topics of conversation. You will be more
relaxed when you notice how much control you really have.

And if all else fails bear in mind it is also your choice
whether to continue or wrap up the conversation.

Start acting on these five key distinctions today and
notice how much easier and more enjoyable it can be meeting
new people.

And... get the best resource on this topic at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Better Communication Skills

When you think about it -- why do you want better
communication skills? What will it give you?

Apart from better relationships at home and at work most
people want to be able to get rapport more easily with
people they meet. And this is where so many people take a
wrong turn.

Instead of learning advanced communication skills which are
easy to learn and straightforward to apply -- they learn
about body language and think that matching and mirroring
is all they need.

The problem is that everyone and her aunt already knows
about body language. So you end up matching John while John
is matching you and you both end up feeling drained and
exhausted because one of you feels tired and the other one
mirrors it.

You both end up stuck in a negative feedback loop unless
one person happens to be feeling dynamic. The resulting
rapport is weak and is always based on the principle that
misery loves company.

Basic rapport skills without intelligence and flexibility
will get you nowhere fast. What you need is rapport
grounded in solid advice that works. So that you feel
phenomenal while going far beyond pacing and matching body
language.

If you are not in control of your relationships and
respected by people at work and at home you really do need
to stop paying attention to all of the misinformation based
on body language tricks and simplistic advice that cannot
and will not work.

What does work?

In my own experience and that of thousands of people who
use my approach each day -- it is absolutely realistic for
you to make a massive and immediate improvement in your
quality of life WHEN you get your hands on accurate advice
and techniques that work for real people like you and I.

You really do deserve to be respected and appreciated by
the people in your life. You already know deep down that
you want your voice to be heard. You want to count.

Having said that I must warn you - do not test my step by
step system unless you can follow instructions. I tell you
exactly what you need to do to develop superior people
skills but I cannot do it for you. Applying the principles
and techniques is up to you.

That´s why now is the ideal time for you to get your hands
on my proven step by step system - test it for 365 days and
prove to yourself that advanced communication skills are
easy to learn when you have accurate information.

Click here now to reserve your 365 day trial:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/


Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

P.S. I advise you to reserve your place today to ensure you
are not on a waiting list for email coaching. I have only
so many hours in the day! And if it gets any busier I may
have to drop that from the list of 7 extra bonuses at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

The Price Of Regret - Effective Communication Skills

by Peter Murphy

Sometimes all you need to improve your people skills is a
little determination and a slight shift in perspective.

What do I mean?

Have you ever felt bad after the event when you neglected
to thank someone for helping you? Or maybe, there have been
times when you forgot to encourage a family member before
an important event such as a birthday party or award
ceremony. Those feelings of regret tend to linger and weigh
you down. It feels uncomfortable.

However these very same feelings of regret are powerful
forces we can use to make sure we don´t "forget" again!

Now, how can we use regret in a positive way? It´s simple
really. Whenever you are talking to an individual or group
of people notice when you feel shyness or the tendancy to
be reserved kicking in. Note that familiar pattern as it
starts to take hold.

Then, ask yourself: will I regret this later if I don´t
speak up? And really dive into the discomfort of how much
regret you could feel later on when it is too late.

The key is to give your full attention to the potential
feelings of regret - really feel how it will be if you hold
back in this moment instead of speaking up.

(Of course this only works if you have some preparation in
what to say and how to say it. Review my book and the bonus
reports to brush up on the techniques.)

Very often you will find that the pain of regret is much
more potent than any nerves you feel in the moment. Your
concerns about saying the wrong thing or looking silly will
often fade into the background as you hold in mind how
heavy the regret will feel for days to come.

What can you do now? Like all new techniques and
distinctions - start small and start today! Then, as you
get a feel for this new approach use it in more challenging
people situations.

Bye for now,


Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact.

The same techniques you can use to overcome shyness,
develop great conversation skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.

Great People Skills. What Makes the Difference?

On a warm spring afternoon, fifteen years ago, two young
men graduated from the same college. They were similar in
many ways...

Like all diligent, hard working students they had also
enjoyed time off to play sport and to have fun with their
friends. And they were both very excited about the bright
future that lay ahead.

Fifteen years later they met.

They were still alike in many ways. Both had a good family
life, a comfortable home and they both had a little gray
hair! But there was a difference.

One of the men is now a victim of his own success - he is
running as fast as he can and still he cannot keep up with
the mountain of work that lands on his desk each day.

All day long his staff and his superiors make demands of
him he cannot say no to and at home he is at the mercy of
the whims of his family. He feels taken for granted and
unappreciated.

On the other hand. The second man is in charge of his own
business and works as many or as few hours as he pleases
each day. People look up to him, respect him and enjoy
spending time with him. At home, his opinions are valued
and his needs respected.

What made the difference?

Have you ever wondered how two seemingly successful people
can be so different in how they get to the top and in how
they stay at the top?

One person struggles day after day and claws his way to the
top of success mountain - while another strolls along in
his own good time enjoying the view as he goes.

The difference lies in how you relate to people. There is
an easy way and a hard way. The hard way means people take
you for granted, they do not really listen to you and all
too often they treat you as no more than a resource they
can use to get what they want.

On the other hand, the easy way means you feel respected
and deeply appreciated. When you talk people listen and
when you approach people they respond positively to your
requests.

Which do you prefer - the easy way or the hard way?

Knowledge is Power. Right now I enjoy harmonious
relationships with the people in my life because I decided
to leave the hard way in the past and to build a bright new
future based on the easy way.

Once I found an approach that worked all I did was follow
the step-by-step instructions and my world changed as
quickly as I changed. And this can happen for you even
faster than you think...

When you become a master of conversation you will wonder
why you waited so long to get your hands on the knowledge
that was waiting for you all along.

-- Three Essential Elements --

The easy way to superior people skills is made up of three
key elements and verbal communication skills make up only
one of those essential elements. And no I am not talking
about body language. I take it you already know how to
mirror and match posture.

With the system that has worked so well for me and for
scores of people around the world - you will discover these
three elements and how to quickly and easily master people
skills for the rest of your life.

If you have struggled before it is because you only paid
attention to communication skills. That is fine if you are
aiming for average. Now is the time to become exceptional.

Why not develop exceptional people skills? If you can
follow simple step-by-step instructions you can move ahead
very quickly.

Think about it for a moment...

Why do you want to get along better with other people? What
are the most important reasons why you want to improve this
aspect of your life? What have you missed out on by
neglecting this crucial skill?

The time to change is now - until you do another day,
another week and another month will slip by and you will be
no further forward in your life. If you are waiting for the
perfect time you will wait forever.

It is time to try a new and better way...

--- Test Drive the System ---

I can guarantee that if you are of at least average
intelligence you can quickly transform your ability to deal
with other people. Knowing what to say, starting and
keeping the conversation going and making a great
impression will never again be a mystery to you.

You can finally put worrying about what people think of you
in the past.

Start today by taking a 365 day trial of my system. Click
here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

After you book your 365 day trial of my system you will be
granted immediate access to the course material and private
access to me for coaching. I look forward to coaching you.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy

P.S.

Reserve your 365 day trial here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

3 Great Tips For Dealing With Negative People

by Peter Murphy

It can take skill to deal effectively with negative people.
Make sure you are ready for the challenge by reading and
using these tips.

1 Don´t Believe Everything You Hear!

With close friends and family it is not unusual to think
that you ought to take onboard everything you hear. However
do not confuse caring with knowing. Just because someone is
concerned for your welfare does not mean that their advice
or input has value.

For example, I know a lot about peak performance. I do not
know much about car maintenance. If I ever offer you advice
on rebuilding a car engine run as fast as you can!

My input would have little or no value. Likewise with
friends and family. They may be negative about you, your
plans and your opinions simply because they lack the
knowledge to think positively about the situation.

Their ignorance causes them to fear for your welfare.
Distinguish between caring and the knowledge to offer
worthwhile input.

2 Let Go Of Needing Their Approval

I have mentioned this principle many times before because
it is so important. As long as you must have the
permission, approval and acceptance of your peers you are a
victim of their limiting beliefs.

You must let go of wanting approval if you are to ever have
peace of mind. Refer to my book for more help with this.
See Lesson 15 - Letting go of wanting your own approval.

3 Eliminate Your Own Negative Thoughts

Often friends reflect back the negatives you quietly hold
inside your own mind. If you were 100 per cent positive
about your life and your plans it would not matter if
people close to you were negative.

In fact their negative comments might even make you laugh
because their opinions would seem so absurd to you. You can
become more positive by reading books that expand your
knowledge and understanding, spending more time with
positive, dynamic people and by stretching yourself daily.

By stretching I mean challenging yourself to perform better
than your previous best. When you make stretching to be
more part of your life, your belief in what is possible
grows and grows at a furious pace.

Before long you will not have room for negative thoughts.
Choose to find a positive in all things and it quickly
becomes a habit that will transform your experience of life.

I am always asking myself:

-- what is good about this?
-- what is great about this?
-- what have I learned from this that makes me stronger?

Ask yourself the right questions and redirect your mind
back onto the positive.

What else can you do to take charge of even the most
difficult conversations?

Review the Conversation Fear report that comes with my book
at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

If you ever know what to say and still cannot speak up it
is because fear has gotten the better of you. This fear
will not go away until you know how to eliminate it. I show
you three ways in that report.

And...

Make sure you are up to date on the 15 ways to start and
keep a conversation going. I showed you how to do this in
the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report
that you get with my book at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

Have a great week,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to take a test drive:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

How To Get The Respect And Appreciation You Deserve

by Peter Murphy

If you have ever tired to win the respect and approval of
others you know how difficult it can be. Especially when
people are not responsive causing you to feel anxious and
even more nervous.

What typically happens next is that you perform poorly
because you feel tense. You fail to express yourself as
well as you can so others do not see you in the best light.
This of course is not a good recipe for winning respect and
appreciation.

What can you do to create a favorable impression in the
eyes of those you want to impress?

1. Relax when meeting people

This is easier said than done unless you know how to
quickly relax even in difficult situations. The ability to
relax when under pressure is an essential skill that allows
you to be at your best whenever you need to be.

When you feel relaxed you will quickly and easily keep the
conversation flowing, you won´t worry about making mistakes
and you´ll find it easier to think of interesting things to
say. Imagine how good that will feel!

Feeling relaxed enables you to enjoy the moment, to pay
closer attention to whoever you are talking to and to drop
those nagging feelings of self-consciousness.

Instant relaxation is the secret to effortlessly making
conversation on a broad range of topics without worrying
about saying the wrong thing. (more about how to relax in
a moment later in this article)

2. Don´t beg for respect

A common mistake is to be overly nice in the hope of
earning respect. This approach never works. The harder you
try to impress the more desperate you will seem.

The best way to earn respect is to start by respecting
yourself. Positive self-talk, affirmations and
visualization all go a long way towards building a sense of
pervasive self-esteem that others pick up on.

The more you respect yourself, the better other people will
treat you. Why? Because your posture, the way you talk and
you entire presence will change for the better when you
feel better about yourself.

Others merely reflect back how you treat yourself. When you
change your behavior other people respond by changing how
they interact with you.

When you have more self-respect for some strange reason
whoever you talk to will pick up on it and start showing
you more respect.


3. Respect and appreciate the other person

The more you choose to like and appreciate the person you
are talking to the more that person will warm to you. When
you exude interest, when you really listen to the other
person and especially when you compliment that person you
encourage a favorable response in them.

People feel obligated to return good treatment with more of
the same. You will notice more compliments, genuine
interest in you and even delight when you give of these
qualities first. So remember to give what you want to get!

Doing so can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first if you
are used to letting others do most of the talking. You need
to get used to speaking up and even leading the
conversation if you are to create an environment of mutual
respect and appreciation.

This is a very important distinction - if you do not make
this change in how you deal with people you will never be
more than a relatively passive observer of the
conversations unfolding before you.

How can you make this change quickly and easily? click here
now to discover my step-by-step system....

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

The People Who Can Get You What You Need

by Peter Murphy

Or.. how to use people skills to achieve greater success.
In this article we explore the importance of good people
skills in ensuring powerful people are happy to help you.

There are people in this world who can help you to get
everything you have ever wanted. And thankfully, these
people will gladly help you and they will enjoy each moment
of your success as much as you will.

These special, powerful people are the mentors you need to
move ahead in your life. With their help the seemingly
impossible becomes achiveable, the unlikely can and does
happen and what once seemed difficult becomes very easy.

There is no need to do it alone.

We are all part of a greater whole and the sooner we accept
this the sooner we can ask for help from people with the
skills, experience and willingness to give us the priceless
advice we need.

Potential mentors are everywhere so how do you choose one
who will enjoy helping you?

The best course of action is to mingle with people who have
already done what you want to achieve. As you mix with
these people you will naturally warm to some more than
others - make friends with these people.

Over time as you get to know them better you can start
asking for their help, opinions and input. You will avoid
years of trial and error by tapping into their wisdom and
experience.

Just be sure to only take and act on advice from people
who have done what they are advising you on. There are far
too many people with freely available advice on matters
they know little about.

Now, this sounds simple doesn´t it? It is, still most
people get stuck at this stage because they feel
intimidated asking powerful, more experienced people for
advice and help.

This is a common problem that can stop you from speaking up
and unless you learn how to handle it you will miss out on
having mentors help you to move ahead quickly in your
career and in your life.

What is the solution to this problem? I recommend that you
study my free report on developing superior people skills.

Click here now to get it:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

The Real Reason Why People Skills Are So Very Important

by Peter Murphy

Many people recognize the importance of superior people
skills as a means to get ahead, to be successful and to be
effective in the world.

However there is a far more important reason to develop
great people skills. True happiness depends on your ability
to form healthy mutually supportive relationships with
people you care about. This applies at home, socially and
at work.

Consider those who have happy, full lives. What do they
have in common? Money? Good looks? Career success?
Although desirable, none of those attributes are
essential for a happy life.

Happy people get on very well with other people...

Truly happy people share the ability to deal with people
from all walks of life and have a knack for making others
like them. They are likeable people and others enjoy their
company and want to hear what they have to say.

The more you develop this ability to relate well to the
people in your day-to-day life the happier you will be. Why
is this true?

Because surrounding yourself with people who like and care
about you is the best way to boost your self-esteem. It is
also the only sure fire way to both enjoy the journey and
deal with the ups and downs of life.

Consider this question: what do the happiest moments in
your life have in common?

For most of us these special moments involved other people
- people we enjoy being with just for the fun of spending
time with them. If these same memories had happened
without them you might not even recall the moment.

It is this special human connection with great people that
is the source of the fun, the laughter and the happiness.
And of course, the more often we have these connections the
happier we feel.

Want even more happiness?

Well, you know what to do... create more special moments by
developing such good people skills that happy moments
become part of how you live rather than occasional and
random happenings.

Now...

Review both the Conversation Fear report AND the How to
Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report which come as
special bonuses with my system.

When you use those powerful strategies you will be well
prepared to join the ranks of the appreciated and highly
respected.

Test it yourself by reserving your 365 day trial - click
here now:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/

All the very best,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

How To Drop Futile Communication Patterns

by Peter Murphy

Have you ever noticed that you make the very same mistakes
again and again when dealing with people?

I like to refer to this as... the futility of repeating
what does not work! And we all fall into this trap to some
degree. We become so used to not being able to do something
that we think it cannot be done.

Let´s say you find it difficult to start conversations with
complete strangers. You tried before and you didn´t do very
well. And because you failed a few times you start to dread
such encounters, avoid them and even find ways to ensure
you rarely have to deal with these types of situations.

What are the consequences of this approach?

It´s obvious really -- you will get worse and worse at
meeting new people because you rarely allow it to happen
and because you never get the opportunity to work at it and
improve.

This is a sure fire recipe for stagnation with no hope for
improvement and personal growth. It´s time to shake things
up a little and find new and even fun ways to stop
repeating the same old mistakes.

Here is one tip for learning new ways of dealing with
people -- find someone who seems to have a natural flair
for creating rapport with people and follow that person
around to observe him or her in action.

Listen to what I did...

I was hanging out with my buddy Craig - in the shopping
mall one hot summer Saturday afternoon. It was scorching
hot outside so we were enjoying the cool of the mall while
we wandered aimlessly from store to store.

Then it hit me!

Craig´s experience of shopping was completely different to
mine. Every opportunity he got he was joking with the
staff, having fun with anyone he met and laughing and
smiling his way around the mall.

This was alien to me at the time. I usually crept about the
stores, keeping to myself and carefully avoiding eye
contact with other shoppers and store assistants. I used to
keep human interaction to a bare minimum.

Craig was living proof that communication skills can be
mastered. And I had not even realized until that point that
it was even possible to get so good.

No wonder I had been having trouble dealing with people. I
was actively avoiding people because I did not know what to
say or even how to say it.

From that point on my sense of possibility expanded and all
I needed to figure out was how to easily and effortlessly
change my behavior.

Thankfully, you can change your life and now is the best
time to start. Communicating with confidence can be
learned...

Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress. Although some people fear
otherwise, people skills can be learned by anyone of at
least average intelligence.

The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now. What matters is learning a
proven approach you can use for the rest of your life.

I did it.

It only took me 14 years. Are there any short cuts to
learning exceptional people skills? There certainly are.

Get out your copy of my proven system and start applying
the lessons, one at a time. Take a little each day and you
will be stunned by your progress.

Take it for a 365 day test drive at:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Remember, this is a course that requires you to put the
strategies into action in your daily life. Do that and your
success is assured. Reserve your place here:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Your Friend,

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact.

The same techniques you can use to overcome shyness,
develop great conversation skills and build self-confidence.

Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:

http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com

Start your 365 day trial today.