by Peter Murphy
Because I offer email coaching to my customers I notice
certain themes that pop up again and again in the emails I
receive.
It is not unusual for me to hear from someone who is
clearly not only intelligent and well educated but also a
genuinely nice person.
Why then does a person like this sometimes have difficulty
speaking up and making good conversation? Why does someone
who has abundant talent and ability fail when it comes to
making a great impression with others?
I believe the answer is simply this -- thoughtful people
hesitate much too much and wait for permission to be
themselves.
However....
You don´t need to live like this any longer unless you
really want to!
I suggest that starting today you decide to allow yourself
to be as you are and let other people get used to that fact.
Be polite and as sociable as you like but do not wait for
permission or approval before expressing your opinions.
Simply find a suitable moment in the conversation and dive
in.
If others do not agree with you then so be it. You are
still entitled to not only have an opinion but to express
it in your own way.
The more you get used to not caring if people like what you
say or agree with you the more freedom you will feel. And
the more freedom you express the more others will tend to
accept both you and your input.
You see, when you apologetically offer an opinion your
non-verbal communication sets you up for criticism. Your
lack of confidence gives the game away.
The secret is to speak up with certainty. Say what you want
with conviction - never ask for or wait for permission to
be yourself and to express yourself. And if you can also
express yourself without needing approval your confidence
will soar.
When you remain emotionally detached from the outcome of
the conversation, making conversation gets very, very easy.
Why? Because all your self-imposed performance anxiety
disappears and you find yourself enjoying the moment.
This is why I like to remind people to drop Conversation
Fear -- those anxieties and concerns form the road block on
your journey to better relationships, a better social life
and greater happiness. Once those road blocks are removed
it´s full speed ahead.
Imagine, not having any fear when you want to speak up! How
great would that feel? Why not start today?
Now...
Review both the Conversation Fear report AND the How to
Start a Great Conversation with Anyone report which come as
special bonuses with my system.
When you use those powerful strategies you will be well
prepared to join the ranks of the appreciated and highly
respected.
Test it yourself by reserving your 365 day trial - click
here now:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
All the very best,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
Discover how to have great conversation skills, how to make small talk and how to overcome shyness and nerves when meeting new people. Superior communication skills are a question of strategy. Learn the right approach and excellent people skills are inevitable. Your confidence will soar! This blog is managed by Peter Murphy, peak performance expert and published author.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
How To Speak Up When You Don´t Know What To Say
by Peter Murphy
We all get tongue tied at times when we really don´t know
what to say next. Maybe you get stuck when talking to
authority figures such as your boss or bank manager. For
someone else certain situations might bring on that
self-conscious tongue-tied moment.
What can you do to avoid getting stuck for words?
1. Trust yourself more
Forget about being perfect and don´t demand that you say
the right thing at the right moment all of the time. It
really is okay to make little mistakes and to learn from
them.
Do forget about perfection because it does not exist in the
known world. Doing what you can with what you´ve got in any
moment is all anyone can reasonably demand of you.
And usually, the more you trust yourself and get on with
it, the more often you will be surprised at how well you
will do. If you pay attention every experience will be an
opportunity for you to get better, much better.
2. Learn like a child
When you were a child you were a highly advanced learning
machine! You learned new skills and understandings at a
phenomenal pace. You were unstoppable in your quest for new
experiences and new learnings.
As adults we need to remember to tap into this fascination
for life. Kids learn by observing AND doing. Adults often
forget the doing part!
In terms of making great conversation, allow yourself to
learn by doing. Make mistakes, learn what does not work and
improve one conversation after another. You will move ahead
much, much faster when you live in this way.
3. Apply the knowledge you already have
It is very likely you already know how to start a
conversation, how to keep a conversation alive and how to
engage the interest of another person.
However, knowing what to do and using what you know are two
very different things. Here is a useful guideline you might
like to keep in mind -- you only know what you can do.
Unless you are getting good results with a technique or
approach that you understand - you really have not learned
and integrated it into your life.
The best way to take on board and use what you think you
already know is to spend a little time each day reviewing
solid material on communication skills. Review it and then
use it during your day when you deal with people.
Before you know it those tongue-tied moments will be a
distant memory of how you used to be.
Now, what else can you do right now?
Get out your copy of my book and join the thousands of
people around the world who are using it to live happier
lives based on excellent people skills.
Click here now to get your copy:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
All the very best,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
We all get tongue tied at times when we really don´t know
what to say next. Maybe you get stuck when talking to
authority figures such as your boss or bank manager. For
someone else certain situations might bring on that
self-conscious tongue-tied moment.
What can you do to avoid getting stuck for words?
1. Trust yourself more
Forget about being perfect and don´t demand that you say
the right thing at the right moment all of the time. It
really is okay to make little mistakes and to learn from
them.
Do forget about perfection because it does not exist in the
known world. Doing what you can with what you´ve got in any
moment is all anyone can reasonably demand of you.
And usually, the more you trust yourself and get on with
it, the more often you will be surprised at how well you
will do. If you pay attention every experience will be an
opportunity for you to get better, much better.
2. Learn like a child
When you were a child you were a highly advanced learning
machine! You learned new skills and understandings at a
phenomenal pace. You were unstoppable in your quest for new
experiences and new learnings.
As adults we need to remember to tap into this fascination
for life. Kids learn by observing AND doing. Adults often
forget the doing part!
In terms of making great conversation, allow yourself to
learn by doing. Make mistakes, learn what does not work and
improve one conversation after another. You will move ahead
much, much faster when you live in this way.
3. Apply the knowledge you already have
It is very likely you already know how to start a
conversation, how to keep a conversation alive and how to
engage the interest of another person.
However, knowing what to do and using what you know are two
very different things. Here is a useful guideline you might
like to keep in mind -- you only know what you can do.
Unless you are getting good results with a technique or
approach that you understand - you really have not learned
and integrated it into your life.
The best way to take on board and use what you think you
already know is to spend a little time each day reviewing
solid material on communication skills. Review it and then
use it during your day when you deal with people.
Before you know it those tongue-tied moments will be a
distant memory of how you used to be.
Now, what else can you do right now?
Get out your copy of my book and join the thousands of
people around the world who are using it to live happier
lives based on excellent people skills.
Click here now to get your copy:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
All the very best,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
The Magical Secret To Great Conversation
There is a secret to making great conversation that you are
unlikely to discover in any book or at even the very best
of seminars.
And the awareness of this very special secret is the
difference between good and great when it comes to making
conversation.
Let me the tell you the secret...
Enter into conversations with the intention to give without
wanting, expecting or demanding anything in return.
Now, the significance, power and subtle of this principle
goes right over the head of most people who hear it. Let me
explain.
When you talk to another person and come from a place of
giving and sharing you will feel empowered as long as you
neither want approval from the other person nor want to
control the other person with your communication.
Your worries about saying the wrong thing and fears about
looking stupid or feeling rejected will all dissipate. When
your focus is on giving and not on the getting you are the
source -- not the other person. Consequently approval and
control cannot be taken from you.
Instead you will feel relaxed, confident and at ease. You
will feel good about expressing your personality and more
of your hidden charisma will shine.
And there is another wonderful benefit to applying these
principles. The person you are talking to will no longer
have resistance to what you are saying.
He or she will feel compelled to respond to your giving by
giving to you in return. This can take the form of really
listening to you, helping you and responding to your ideas
and input.
Why does this happen?
Because we all feel compelled to give to whoever gives to
us. This is known as the principle of reciprocity. It is a
powerful principle you can use every time you talk to other
people. And it all begins with an attitude of giving.
You can give in many ways when you are talking to someone...
- offer all of your attention
- give an open mind
- present an open heart
- listen to what is really said
- talk with sincerity and caring
Now, when you consider these points it is easy to fool
yourself because although we know to do these things we do
not often do so.
Distinguish between what you know and what you actually do
and start using these principles today. When you act on the
secret to great conversation it will make a big difference
to your relationships, success and happiness. Why not start
right now?
Have a great week,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently revealed the
secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and
impact. The same techniques you can use to overcome shyness, develop
great conversation skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
unlikely to discover in any book or at even the very best
of seminars.
And the awareness of this very special secret is the
difference between good and great when it comes to making
conversation.
Let me the tell you the secret...
Enter into conversations with the intention to give without
wanting, expecting or demanding anything in return.
Now, the significance, power and subtle of this principle
goes right over the head of most people who hear it. Let me
explain.
When you talk to another person and come from a place of
giving and sharing you will feel empowered as long as you
neither want approval from the other person nor want to
control the other person with your communication.
Your worries about saying the wrong thing and fears about
looking stupid or feeling rejected will all dissipate. When
your focus is on giving and not on the getting you are the
source -- not the other person. Consequently approval and
control cannot be taken from you.
Instead you will feel relaxed, confident and at ease. You
will feel good about expressing your personality and more
of your hidden charisma will shine.
And there is another wonderful benefit to applying these
principles. The person you are talking to will no longer
have resistance to what you are saying.
He or she will feel compelled to respond to your giving by
giving to you in return. This can take the form of really
listening to you, helping you and responding to your ideas
and input.
Why does this happen?
Because we all feel compelled to give to whoever gives to
us. This is known as the principle of reciprocity. It is a
powerful principle you can use every time you talk to other
people. And it all begins with an attitude of giving.
You can give in many ways when you are talking to someone...
- offer all of your attention
- give an open mind
- present an open heart
- listen to what is really said
- talk with sincerity and caring
Now, when you consider these points it is easy to fool
yourself because although we know to do these things we do
not often do so.
Distinguish between what you know and what you actually do
and start using these principles today. When you act on the
secret to great conversation it will make a big difference
to your relationships, success and happiness. Why not start
right now?
Have a great week,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently revealed the
secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and
impact. The same techniques you can use to overcome shyness, develop
great conversation skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to test this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
The Real Secret To Making And Keeping Friends
by Peter Murphy
Only a few people really understand the best way to make
new friends. And even fewer ever grasp the secret to
keeping a good friendship alive over the years.
When it comes to making friends, the key is to decide to
like the other person before the other person starts to
like you. When you do this you naturally warm to the other
person, he or she then senses this and responds accordingly.
Deciding to like the other person regardless of their
acceptance of you has an interesting side benefit. You are
no longer concerned about rejection. If you are not looking
for approval you will feel more confident.
Imagine how well you will relate to others with this new
found inner confidence. You will radiate warmth and
approval. And others will want to get to know you better.
The same applies to long-standing friendships. We sometimes
take them for granted and our relationships can suffer. You
can quickly revive a friendship by choosing to like or love
that friend just as he or she is.
Truly accept your friend and it will come across in what
you say and, more importantly, in how you say it. That
sparkle in your eyes says more about how much you like your
friend than any words can convey.
Of course choosing to like someone means you can still
assert yourself and make sure the other person treats you
well. In fact they are more likely to do so when they sense
they are liked.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Only a few people really understand the best way to make
new friends. And even fewer ever grasp the secret to
keeping a good friendship alive over the years.
When it comes to making friends, the key is to decide to
like the other person before the other person starts to
like you. When you do this you naturally warm to the other
person, he or she then senses this and responds accordingly.
Deciding to like the other person regardless of their
acceptance of you has an interesting side benefit. You are
no longer concerned about rejection. If you are not looking
for approval you will feel more confident.
Imagine how well you will relate to others with this new
found inner confidence. You will radiate warmth and
approval. And others will want to get to know you better.
The same applies to long-standing friendships. We sometimes
take them for granted and our relationships can suffer. You
can quickly revive a friendship by choosing to like or love
that friend just as he or she is.
Truly accept your friend and it will come across in what
you say and, more importantly, in how you say it. That
sparkle in your eyes says more about how much you like your
friend than any words can convey.
Of course choosing to like someone means you can still
assert yourself and make sure the other person treats you
well. In fact they are more likely to do so when they sense
they are liked.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Monday, May 02, 2005
5 Simple Shyness Tips
If you are one of the many individuals affected by shyness,
you will find the following shyness tips useful for your
daily social life.
These tips are meant to help you overcome those situations
when you feel your hands and feet tied by the lack of
security to act or say something. Use these shyness tips as
the basis for improving your social skills.
Social and emotional shyness affects many more people than
you imagine and most of them surely need a few of our
shyness tips to help them get by in this over-competitive
society.
Because we know the importance of being able to overcome
shyness in several aspects of our life, we compiled a list
of shyness tips based on advice by specialists and common
people alike.
Read on. You will find the following tips useful:
1. Tell people about your shyness. Many people who "suffer"
from shyness tend to avoid eye contact and more than often
seem arrogant by doing so.
By telling people you are shy, you are giving them the true
reason why you seem so evasive and distant and that will
improve your social interaction with certain people.
2. Take adult community education classes. Why? Because the
odds are that in those classes you will find that more than
a half of the students suffer form the same distress as you.
In addition, the adult community classes will get you going
on social interaction with your peers and will be a great
pretext to get you out of your house and start practicing
interaction.
The fact that your class mates are also shy people will
help you understand that you are not alone on this one.
3. Reward yourself. Every time you succeed on overcoming
your shyness, treat yourself with something you love. Go
out and eat a huge ice-cream, if that is your taste.
Remember to, literally, reward yourself every time you move
a step closer to overcome shyness. This will motivate you
to keep working your social and emotional skills.
4. Visualize being at ease in a social event. Visualization
can be a powerful tool when used with persistence. When you
are at your home, where you feel secure and confident, try
to visualize social situations where you would usually feel
shy.
Than imagine yourself enjoying that situation and being at
ease in that context. Practice this visualization often and
keep your focus on visualizing yourself more confident and
enjoying social interaction.
5. Elaborate a mental list of interesting conversation
topics. Before you leave home, make sure you have a
well-defined list of topics that you know other people will
find interesting. That way you will find yourself more
confident and at ease in a conversation.
Remember to keep your efforts steady if you really want to
overcome shyness. The above shyness tips won’t help you if
you don’t make a real effort to help yourself.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
you will find the following shyness tips useful for your
daily social life.
These tips are meant to help you overcome those situations
when you feel your hands and feet tied by the lack of
security to act or say something. Use these shyness tips as
the basis for improving your social skills.
Social and emotional shyness affects many more people than
you imagine and most of them surely need a few of our
shyness tips to help them get by in this over-competitive
society.
Because we know the importance of being able to overcome
shyness in several aspects of our life, we compiled a list
of shyness tips based on advice by specialists and common
people alike.
Read on. You will find the following tips useful:
1. Tell people about your shyness. Many people who "suffer"
from shyness tend to avoid eye contact and more than often
seem arrogant by doing so.
By telling people you are shy, you are giving them the true
reason why you seem so evasive and distant and that will
improve your social interaction with certain people.
2. Take adult community education classes. Why? Because the
odds are that in those classes you will find that more than
a half of the students suffer form the same distress as you.
In addition, the adult community classes will get you going
on social interaction with your peers and will be a great
pretext to get you out of your house and start practicing
interaction.
The fact that your class mates are also shy people will
help you understand that you are not alone on this one.
3. Reward yourself. Every time you succeed on overcoming
your shyness, treat yourself with something you love. Go
out and eat a huge ice-cream, if that is your taste.
Remember to, literally, reward yourself every time you move
a step closer to overcome shyness. This will motivate you
to keep working your social and emotional skills.
4. Visualize being at ease in a social event. Visualization
can be a powerful tool when used with persistence. When you
are at your home, where you feel secure and confident, try
to visualize social situations where you would usually feel
shy.
Than imagine yourself enjoying that situation and being at
ease in that context. Practice this visualization often and
keep your focus on visualizing yourself more confident and
enjoying social interaction.
5. Elaborate a mental list of interesting conversation
topics. Before you leave home, make sure you have a
well-defined list of topics that you know other people will
find interesting. That way you will find yourself more
confident and at ease in a conversation.
Remember to keep your efforts steady if you really want to
overcome shyness. The above shyness tips won’t help you if
you don’t make a real effort to help yourself.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Thursday, April 21, 2005
4 Unusual Self Confidence Tips
Here are some self confidence tips which can be developed into unconscious characteristics of your personality. The most effective use of these self confidence tips is done through repetition and reinforcement.
The use of the self confidence tips described here must be done on a daily basis and with a conscious effort on your part to retrain the way your mind works.
Again, self confidence is a learned skill, and all learned skills must be improved upon regularly.
1. Develop the habit of learning from mistakes.
The most successful people in any industry have learned to let go. Certainly they still find themselves in a position where they may not have done the right thing.
But rather than beat themselves up about it, they evaluate where they have gone wrong and resolve to avoid that mistake in the future.
In other words they view mistakes as lessons, and enhance their self confidence by believing that experience allows them to avoid amateur mistakes.
2. Talk to yourself.
This is perhaps the easiest route to self confidence. Our minds absorb the things we feed them on a daily basis whether those things are positive or negative.
Develop a list of your own character traits that need improvement. Then write a positive statement about yourself and that character trait.
Example: I am highly organized. Repeat this list of positive statements to yourself out loud whenever you have the opportunity. The best times are in the morning when you first wake up and in the evening before you go to sleep.
Make sure you repeat them out loud. Simply hearing these things said about yourself out loud will result in greater self confidence.
3. Be prepared.
In whatever area you are attempting to improve on, nothing beats the proper preparation. Successful salesman will mentally prepare for a presentation by constantly repeating the presentation until they have the major points memorized.
They will also record themselves on tape giving the presentation in order to hear how it sounds. More time is spent investigating the client and his industry to evaluate where a produst might be useful.
Finally the product is looked at from a customers point of view so that objections and questions can be handled before they arise.
4. Use Positive Visualization.
This is a powerful tool to use in developing self confidence. The best athletes create a powerful mental image of themselves accomplishing their goal.
The emotional impact of creating an image in your mind replicates the feeling of success and creates the same physical effect on your body as the actual accomplishment of your goal.
Before attempting something, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture yourself as being in the situation you desire to happen.
If you can see it happening in your mind you can make it a reality. Self confidence grows with visualization.
To sum things up, self confidence is a habit, and like any habit becomes something you do unconsciously. The self confidence tips described here are useful if you make them habits and they become second nature to you.
Once the pattern is established, you will have no problems with continuing to build your self confidence.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.conversationtalk.com/
The use of the self confidence tips described here must be done on a daily basis and with a conscious effort on your part to retrain the way your mind works.
Again, self confidence is a learned skill, and all learned skills must be improved upon regularly.
1. Develop the habit of learning from mistakes.
The most successful people in any industry have learned to let go. Certainly they still find themselves in a position where they may not have done the right thing.
But rather than beat themselves up about it, they evaluate where they have gone wrong and resolve to avoid that mistake in the future.
In other words they view mistakes as lessons, and enhance their self confidence by believing that experience allows them to avoid amateur mistakes.
2. Talk to yourself.
This is perhaps the easiest route to self confidence. Our minds absorb the things we feed them on a daily basis whether those things are positive or negative.
Develop a list of your own character traits that need improvement. Then write a positive statement about yourself and that character trait.
Example: I am highly organized. Repeat this list of positive statements to yourself out loud whenever you have the opportunity. The best times are in the morning when you first wake up and in the evening before you go to sleep.
Make sure you repeat them out loud. Simply hearing these things said about yourself out loud will result in greater self confidence.
3. Be prepared.
In whatever area you are attempting to improve on, nothing beats the proper preparation. Successful salesman will mentally prepare for a presentation by constantly repeating the presentation until they have the major points memorized.
They will also record themselves on tape giving the presentation in order to hear how it sounds. More time is spent investigating the client and his industry to evaluate where a produst might be useful.
Finally the product is looked at from a customers point of view so that objections and questions can be handled before they arise.
4. Use Positive Visualization.
This is a powerful tool to use in developing self confidence. The best athletes create a powerful mental image of themselves accomplishing their goal.
The emotional impact of creating an image in your mind replicates the feeling of success and creates the same physical effect on your body as the actual accomplishment of your goal.
Before attempting something, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and picture yourself as being in the situation you desire to happen.
If you can see it happening in your mind you can make it a reality. Self confidence grows with visualization.
To sum things up, self confidence is a habit, and like any habit becomes something you do unconsciously. The self confidence tips described here are useful if you make them habits and they become second nature to you.
Once the pattern is established, you will have no problems with continuing to build your self confidence.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.conversationtalk.com/
Monday, April 18, 2005
How to Build Self Confidence
If you find yourself lacking self confidence, don’t despair
because you can learn how to build self confidence. By
learning how to build self confidence you can make your
dreams come true.
How to build self confidence is not something you are born
with, but rather a skill you can acquire. Many people
believe a prerequisite for high self confidence is success,
talent, intelligence, beauty or popularity.
Although social acceptance does help build self esteem in
individuals, it does not create it. If you are struggling
with your self image and want to learn how to increase your
self confidence in order to be self assured and proud of
yourself, simply implement the following rules into your
daily life.
1. Make a list! Build your self confidence by making a list
of the things you like about yourself. Everyone has talents
and the key is to identify yours and acknowledge them!
Whether you are great at multi-tasking or gardening,
recognize your strengths and take pride in them.
2. Accept yourself! When you are happy with yourself and
accomplishments you will have self confidence. Allow
yourself to be proud of your accomplishments, even small
ones, and your self esteem will have a strong foundation.
3. Get involved! Teach a class, volunteer in the community
or become a mentor. After acknowledging your strengths,
find a way to share them with others. Your self confidence
will soar when you share your strengths and talents with
others.
4. Be realistic! Being honest with yourself and
capabilities will take you a long way down the road to self
confidence.
Demand the best of yourself, but do not demand something
that is unattainable. Strive to be the best you can be and
you will succeed!
5. Give yourself a chance! Set realistic goals and make a
plan to achieve them. If the plan does not work out, keep
the ultimate goal in sight and revise the plan.
Just because a plan does not work does not mean you cannot
attain your goal. It just means you might need to take a
different road to get there.
6. Be positive! Eliminate negativity from your life. If
your friends and family, or even yourself, are always
negative and unsupportive your self esteem will likely
suffer.
Make sure you have a support group that encourages you and
helps you build and maintain your self confidence. Also,
support yourself by staying positive.
As you can see, you are only a few steps away from
attaining the self confidence to engage in any of the
activities that once intimidated you.
And, the above rules are not difficult to learn and do not
require a lot of hard work. Simply make yourself a
priority, take pride in your accomplishments and celebrate
your uniqueness.
Recognizing and sharing your talents will make your self
esteem sky rocket and you will finally learn how to build
self confidence.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.mysocialskills.com/
because you can learn how to build self confidence. By
learning how to build self confidence you can make your
dreams come true.
How to build self confidence is not something you are born
with, but rather a skill you can acquire. Many people
believe a prerequisite for high self confidence is success,
talent, intelligence, beauty or popularity.
Although social acceptance does help build self esteem in
individuals, it does not create it. If you are struggling
with your self image and want to learn how to increase your
self confidence in order to be self assured and proud of
yourself, simply implement the following rules into your
daily life.
1. Make a list! Build your self confidence by making a list
of the things you like about yourself. Everyone has talents
and the key is to identify yours and acknowledge them!
Whether you are great at multi-tasking or gardening,
recognize your strengths and take pride in them.
2. Accept yourself! When you are happy with yourself and
accomplishments you will have self confidence. Allow
yourself to be proud of your accomplishments, even small
ones, and your self esteem will have a strong foundation.
3. Get involved! Teach a class, volunteer in the community
or become a mentor. After acknowledging your strengths,
find a way to share them with others. Your self confidence
will soar when you share your strengths and talents with
others.
4. Be realistic! Being honest with yourself and
capabilities will take you a long way down the road to self
confidence.
Demand the best of yourself, but do not demand something
that is unattainable. Strive to be the best you can be and
you will succeed!
5. Give yourself a chance! Set realistic goals and make a
plan to achieve them. If the plan does not work out, keep
the ultimate goal in sight and revise the plan.
Just because a plan does not work does not mean you cannot
attain your goal. It just means you might need to take a
different road to get there.
6. Be positive! Eliminate negativity from your life. If
your friends and family, or even yourself, are always
negative and unsupportive your self esteem will likely
suffer.
Make sure you have a support group that encourages you and
helps you build and maintain your self confidence. Also,
support yourself by staying positive.
As you can see, you are only a few steps away from
attaining the self confidence to engage in any of the
activities that once intimidated you.
And, the above rules are not difficult to learn and do not
require a lot of hard work. Simply make yourself a
priority, take pride in your accomplishments and celebrate
your uniqueness.
Recognizing and sharing your talents will make your self
esteem sky rocket and you will finally learn how to build
self confidence.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals
the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate
with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available
for a limited time only at:
http://www.mysocialskills.com/
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The Art of Conversation - A Modern Update
Many observers of modern society complain bitterly that the
art of conversation has been irretrievably lost in the
United States.
Yet on closer examination, we discover that the art of
conversation is quite alive and well in America. Only its
rules of engagement have changed from what they were a
century or two ago. The "art of conversation" has always
managed to adopt itself to the times and mores of society.
In eighteenth century England, Samuel Johnson quipped
dryly: "Questioning is not the mode of conversation among
gentlemen." It was considered quite rude to confront
someone with a question in "polite conversation."
Today, questions politely phrased indicate a high degree of
interest in the speaker and are used to propel the
conversation forward.
Women during Victorian times were expected to engage in
conversations that addressed only a few light subjects. The
weather was a favorite. It rarely raised heated debate,
which was to be shunned at all costs.
Today, women appear to be as free as men to indulge
debating any topic of interest. Consider the thousands of
chat rooms, forums and blogs on the Internet with exchanges
on virtually any topic you can imagine!
Conversation is the foremost means of self-expression of
all people. It provides a means of transmitting knowledge
from one generation to the next. Conversation creates
self-confidence, and enables us to build trust among
people. Let's define exactly what we mean by the phrase,
"art of conversation."
An "art", according to Merriam Webster's Dictionary, is "a
skill acquired by experience, study or observation." A
"conversation" is "an oral interchange of sentiments,
observations, opinions or ideas." So, "the art of
conversation" could be said to be a "skillful exchange of
opinions"
Just how do we go about becoming masters of the art of
conversation?
1. Try to be comfortable, both physically and
psychologically, as you enter into a conversation. If
either of you is uncomfortable, the conversation is likely
to be stilted and artificial.
To become a master at the art of conversation, try to make
the other person as comfortable as you yourself would like
to be.
2. Try to find out something interesting about your
partner. Whether the conversation is one struck up between
two perfect strangers on a train, or with your life-long
best friend, trying to get to know that person better is a
key strategy to be used in good conversation.
Asking how someone feels is a great first step in providing
the basis of that comfort and security.
3. Be credible! A master of the art of conversation will
always support his or her opinions with a goodly amount of
information that can be easily verified. Credibility builds
trust, and trust leads to the highest level of
communication.
4. Try not to interrupt the other person. This one is key!
It's just plain rude and often results in argument, the
least desirable form of communication.
5. Use questions, instead of making statements. Questions
involve a response that will carry the conversation forward
naturally. Flat statements are often considered threatening.
These easy steps are the key cornerstones for learning to
become a master of the modern art of conversation. This is
true whether you might be chatting on the Internet, dining
in a fine restaurant, or simply enjoying the company of
good friends.
Want even more? Test drive our breakthrough communication
skills system for 365 days at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
art of conversation has been irretrievably lost in the
United States.
Yet on closer examination, we discover that the art of
conversation is quite alive and well in America. Only its
rules of engagement have changed from what they were a
century or two ago. The "art of conversation" has always
managed to adopt itself to the times and mores of society.
In eighteenth century England, Samuel Johnson quipped
dryly: "Questioning is not the mode of conversation among
gentlemen." It was considered quite rude to confront
someone with a question in "polite conversation."
Today, questions politely phrased indicate a high degree of
interest in the speaker and are used to propel the
conversation forward.
Women during Victorian times were expected to engage in
conversations that addressed only a few light subjects. The
weather was a favorite. It rarely raised heated debate,
which was to be shunned at all costs.
Today, women appear to be as free as men to indulge
debating any topic of interest. Consider the thousands of
chat rooms, forums and blogs on the Internet with exchanges
on virtually any topic you can imagine!
Conversation is the foremost means of self-expression of
all people. It provides a means of transmitting knowledge
from one generation to the next. Conversation creates
self-confidence, and enables us to build trust among
people. Let's define exactly what we mean by the phrase,
"art of conversation."
An "art", according to Merriam Webster's Dictionary, is "a
skill acquired by experience, study or observation." A
"conversation" is "an oral interchange of sentiments,
observations, opinions or ideas." So, "the art of
conversation" could be said to be a "skillful exchange of
opinions"
Just how do we go about becoming masters of the art of
conversation?
1. Try to be comfortable, both physically and
psychologically, as you enter into a conversation. If
either of you is uncomfortable, the conversation is likely
to be stilted and artificial.
To become a master at the art of conversation, try to make
the other person as comfortable as you yourself would like
to be.
2. Try to find out something interesting about your
partner. Whether the conversation is one struck up between
two perfect strangers on a train, or with your life-long
best friend, trying to get to know that person better is a
key strategy to be used in good conversation.
Asking how someone feels is a great first step in providing
the basis of that comfort and security.
3. Be credible! A master of the art of conversation will
always support his or her opinions with a goodly amount of
information that can be easily verified. Credibility builds
trust, and trust leads to the highest level of
communication.
4. Try not to interrupt the other person. This one is key!
It's just plain rude and often results in argument, the
least desirable form of communication.
5. Use questions, instead of making statements. Questions
involve a response that will carry the conversation forward
naturally. Flat statements are often considered threatening.
These easy steps are the key cornerstones for learning to
become a master of the modern art of conversation. This is
true whether you might be chatting on the Internet, dining
in a fine restaurant, or simply enjoying the company of
good friends.
Want even more? Test drive our breakthrough communication
skills system for 365 days at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
New Communication Skills Articles
Here are some new communication skills articles for your enjoyment...
Best Ways Of Talking To People
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-skill.html
How To Improve People Skills
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-skills.html
Communication Training Can Make A Huge Difference
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-training.html
Dale Carnegie And Communication Skills
http://www.communicationtalk.com/dale-carnegie.html
How To Communicate Better Whenever You Want To
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-communicate-better.html
How To Communicate With Anyone You Meet
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-communicate.html
How To Win Friends And Influence People
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html
Interpersonal Communication For Your Life
http://www.communicationtalk.com/interpersonal-communication.html
People Skill Tips And Strategies
http://www.communicationtalk.com/people-skill.html
Would You Like Superior People Skills ?
http://www.communicationtalk.com/people-skills.html
Talking To People Made Easy
http://www.communicationtalk.com/talking-to-people.html
Best Ways Of Talking To People
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-skill.html
How To Improve People Skills
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-skills.html
Communication Training Can Make A Huge Difference
http://www.communicationtalk.com/communication-training.html
Dale Carnegie And Communication Skills
http://www.communicationtalk.com/dale-carnegie.html
How To Communicate Better Whenever You Want To
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-communicate-better.html
How To Communicate With Anyone You Meet
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-communicate.html
How To Win Friends And Influence People
http://www.communicationtalk.com/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.html
Interpersonal Communication For Your Life
http://www.communicationtalk.com/interpersonal-communication.html
People Skill Tips And Strategies
http://www.communicationtalk.com/people-skill.html
Would You Like Superior People Skills ?
http://www.communicationtalk.com/people-skills.html
Talking To People Made Easy
http://www.communicationtalk.com/talking-to-people.html
Saturday, March 12, 2005
More Conversation Skills Articles
Here are some more articles with tips on how to start
a conversation, making great conversation and some
pointers on conversation topics...
How To Master The Art Of Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/art-of-conversation.html
How To Develop Great Conversation Skills
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-skills.html
Proven Conversation Starters That Work
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-starters.html
4 Important Conversation Tips
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-tips.html
Want An Endless Supply Of Conversation Topics?
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-topics.html
How To Start A Good Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/good-conversation.html
How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly
http://www.conversationtalk.com/how-to-start-a-conversation.html
Common Mistakes When You Make Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/make-conversation.html
3 Great Ways To Start A Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/start-a-conversation.html
The full list is at:
http://www.conversationtalk.com/sitemap_1.html
a conversation, making great conversation and some
pointers on conversation topics...
How To Master The Art Of Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/art-of-conversation.html
How To Develop Great Conversation Skills
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-skills.html
Proven Conversation Starters That Work
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-starters.html
4 Important Conversation Tips
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-tips.html
Want An Endless Supply Of Conversation Topics?
http://www.conversationtalk.com/conversation-topics.html
How To Start A Good Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/good-conversation.html
How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly
http://www.conversationtalk.com/how-to-start-a-conversation.html
Common Mistakes When You Make Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/make-conversation.html
3 Great Ways To Start A Conversation
http://www.conversationtalk.com/start-a-conversation.html
The full list is at:
http://www.conversationtalk.com/sitemap_1.html
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
More Great Articles On Beating Shyness
Here are you go, read, enjoy and learn lots...
Conquering Shyness - 5 Ways
http://www.shynessonline.com/conquering-shyness.html
4 Helpful Ways To Get Over Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/get-over-shyness.html
3 Tips to Overcome Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/overcome-shyness.html
5 Ways Of Overcoming Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/overcoming-shyness.html
5 Practical Shyness Tips
http://www.shynessonline.com/shyness.html
Conquering Shyness - 5 Ways
http://www.shynessonline.com/conquering-shyness.html
4 Helpful Ways To Get Over Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/get-over-shyness.html
3 Tips to Overcome Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/overcome-shyness.html
5 Ways Of Overcoming Shyness
http://www.shynessonline.com/overcoming-shyness.html
5 Practical Shyness Tips
http://www.shynessonline.com/shyness.html
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
7 Confidence Building Articles
Improving Self Confidence And How To Gain Confidence
Build Confidence The Easy Way
Build Self Confidence and Boost Confidence With Proven Tips And Strategies
The New Confidence Builder Anyone Can Use
Increase Confidence With These Tips And Enjoy High Self-Confidence
Confidence Building Simplified
Gain Confidence With Proven Self-Confidence Strategies
Confidence Tips That Work
How To Gain Confidence By Learning New Ways To Increase Confidence
Discover How To Be Confident
Improving Self Confidence Starts With Knowing How To Boost Confidence
New Self Confidence Tips And Tricks
Gain Confidence And Build Self-Confidence With These Great Tips
Monday, February 21, 2005
How To Improve People Skills - 4 Great Ways
by Peter Murphy
Improving your People Skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate people skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
people skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Cut the nervousness out!
Remember people are not out to murder or attack you, they
are just here to socialize both personally and in business.
If that doesn’t help remember that if you are nervous then
the other person probably is too.
If you still feel butterflies in your stomach after trying
to calm done just try and act calm. Sometimes just acting
as if you are calm is enough to trick your mind into
feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so act
calm and your butterflies should follow.
Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine. Try and keep your legs down and if you are
standing don’t sway. Swaying implies again that you are
bored or that you are in a hurry.
Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though. Watch the conversation and don’t let those
uncomfortable pauses scare you.
Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that the
other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy. Try
small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.
When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a
more important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.
Step #4 Ending the Conversation.
Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels
you as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s
movements and actions. We as humans have very subtle but
dependable signs of letting each know when we are through.
If the other person tends to refer to their “to do” list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or
displaying other physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your people skills can be hard and may take
longer than anticipated based on your anxiety level and the
previous exposure you’ve had to the social world. Don’t
worry though, keep trying, good people skills are the
foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Improving your People Skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate people skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
people skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Cut the nervousness out!
Remember people are not out to murder or attack you, they
are just here to socialize both personally and in business.
If that doesn’t help remember that if you are nervous then
the other person probably is too.
If you still feel butterflies in your stomach after trying
to calm done just try and act calm. Sometimes just acting
as if you are calm is enough to trick your mind into
feeling like you are calm. The mind is easily fooled so act
calm and your butterflies should follow.
Step #2 Improve the body language in your people skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine. Try and keep your legs down and if you are
standing don’t sway. Swaying implies again that you are
bored or that you are in a hurry.
Step #3 Improve the conversation part of your people skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though. Watch the conversation and don’t let those
uncomfortable pauses scare you.
Remember if you are nervous there is a good chance that the
other person is nervous as well, so just take it easy. Try
small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.
When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to a
more important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.
Step #4 Ending the Conversation.
Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over, labels
you as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s
movements and actions. We as humans have very subtle but
dependable signs of letting each know when we are through.
If the other person tends to refer to their “to do” list
for the day or are constantly shifting their body weight or
displaying other physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your people skills can be hard and may take
longer than anticipated based on your anxiety level and the
previous exposure you’ve had to the social world. Don’t
worry though, keep trying, good people skills are the
foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
3 Ways to Start a Great Conversation
by Peter Murphy
Many people worry about how to start a conversation. While
other people instinctively know how to start a conversation
and it comes almost naturally.
Are you comfortable that you know how to start a
conversation? Do you become tongue tied not sure what to
say? If you are not then there are many valuable resources
available to help you learn the art of conversation.
Here are three simple ways that you can learn how to start
a conversation and keep it going.
1. Be confident in yourself.
Consider that the other person has an interest in what it
is you have to say. Sometimes people have trouble with
conversation because of a lack of confidence in themselves.
The irony is that even if you are only pretending to be
confident other people will assume that you are confident.
They will then be more responsive to what you say and it
becomes easier to engage them in conversation.
2. Think of a compliment.
A great way to start a conversation is by complimenting
someone to. For example, you might say, "By the way Susan
that was an excellent presentation you gave today."
Tell someone you like his new car, his shoes, his hair or
the way he talks and you will have set the scene for a
friendly chat.
It is very hard for anyone to resist positive feedback. We
all love to hear sincere compliments and we then feel
compelled to treat the giver of the compliment favorably.
3. Ask the other person questions about themselves.
There's no better way to start a conversation than ask
someone a question about themselves.
Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask
someone a question about themselves you will most likely
not have to do any other talking throughout the rest of the
conversation.
And most likely that personal will leave the conversation
thinking very highly of you because you cared so much about
them and their interests.
They will certainly consider that you are a great
conversationalist even though you may have said very little.
These three simple tips are all you need to learn how to
start a conversation and keep it going. Not only are the
above tips helpful in learning how to start a conversation
but they will also work in keeping a conversation flowing.
For example, if the conversation seems to come to an end
prematurely ask another question or make another compliment.
You can change your life and now is the time to start.
Exceptional conversation skills can be learned...
Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress.
Although some people fear otherwise, conversation skills
can be learned by anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now.
What matters is learning a proven approach you can use for
the rest of your life.
I did it.
It only took me 14 years to figure out a step by
step formula. Are there any short cuts to learning
exceptional conversation skills?
There certainly are.
Get out your copy of my proven system and start
applying the lessons, one at a time. Take a little
each day and you will be stunned by your progress.
Take it for a 365 day test drive at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Remember, this is a course that requires you to
put the strategies into action in your daily life.
Do that and your success is assured.
Reserve your place here:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Your Friend,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence. Click here now to test
this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.
Many people worry about how to start a conversation. While
other people instinctively know how to start a conversation
and it comes almost naturally.
Are you comfortable that you know how to start a
conversation? Do you become tongue tied not sure what to
say? If you are not then there are many valuable resources
available to help you learn the art of conversation.
Here are three simple ways that you can learn how to start
a conversation and keep it going.
1. Be confident in yourself.
Consider that the other person has an interest in what it
is you have to say. Sometimes people have trouble with
conversation because of a lack of confidence in themselves.
The irony is that even if you are only pretending to be
confident other people will assume that you are confident.
They will then be more responsive to what you say and it
becomes easier to engage them in conversation.
2. Think of a compliment.
A great way to start a conversation is by complimenting
someone to. For example, you might say, "By the way Susan
that was an excellent presentation you gave today."
Tell someone you like his new car, his shoes, his hair or
the way he talks and you will have set the scene for a
friendly chat.
It is very hard for anyone to resist positive feedback. We
all love to hear sincere compliments and we then feel
compelled to treat the giver of the compliment favorably.
3. Ask the other person questions about themselves.
There's no better way to start a conversation than ask
someone a question about themselves.
Most people love to talk about themselves. If you ask
someone a question about themselves you will most likely
not have to do any other talking throughout the rest of the
conversation.
And most likely that personal will leave the conversation
thinking very highly of you because you cared so much about
them and their interests.
They will certainly consider that you are a great
conversationalist even though you may have said very little.
These three simple tips are all you need to learn how to
start a conversation and keep it going. Not only are the
above tips helpful in learning how to start a conversation
but they will also work in keeping a conversation flowing.
For example, if the conversation seems to come to an end
prematurely ask another question or make another compliment.
You can change your life and now is the time to start.
Exceptional conversation skills can be learned...
Find a proven formula and follow it. You will be amazed at
how quickly you will progress.
Although some people fear otherwise, conversation skills
can be learned by anyone of at least average intelligence.
The difficulties you had in the past will not stop you
making rapid progress now.
What matters is learning a proven approach you can use for
the rest of your life.
I did it.
It only took me 14 years to figure out a step by
step formula. Are there any short cuts to learning
exceptional conversation skills?
There certainly are.
Get out your copy of my proven system and start
applying the lessons, one at a time. Take a little
each day and you will be stunned by your progress.
Take it for a 365 day test drive at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Remember, this is a course that requires you to
put the strategies into action in your daily life.
Do that and your success is assured.
Reserve your place here:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Your Friend,
Peter Murphy
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence. Click here now to test
this simple step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
Start your 365 day trial today.
P.S. the key to greater success and happiness in life is
simple - make new friends, develop new contacts, help
others and let others help you. Without better people
skills we all get stuck where we are.
4 Magical Conversation Tips
by Peter Murphy
The ability to converse easily and effectively can
frequently be a challenge and people often require a few
conversation tips to help them get started.
With the application of a few conversation tips you will be
surprised at how easily you can talk to people in
situations you may have previously just run away from.
Listed below are a few conversation tips to help you get
started conversing easily and confidently.
After reading these conversation tips you will see that a
conversation is more than an exchange of words between
people, it is an art that the truly successful people have
mastered.
1 Give your undivided attention to the person you are
talking to. If the person you are talking to feels as
though you are not listening or too busy looking elsewhere,
they will assume you are not interested and end the
conversation there.
Be sure to ask questions to get the other person talking
about their opinions and give feedback to the answers.
However, be sure not to ask question after question.
You don’t want to engulf the person in so many questions
that they do not get the opportunity to learn how you feel
about the topic of discussion.
2 Your body language says more than the words you are
speaking. Fidgeting or playing with a loose article may
show disinterest. The last thing you want to happen is for
the person you are talking to get the wrong impression of
you.
Crossing one’s arms often gives the appearance of being
closed off to what the other person is saying. Making eye
contact will aid in showing the person talking that you are
paying attention.
Now, this does not mean that you have to stare a person
down, but you do want to look at the person to show them
you are interested and listening. Paying attention to this
unspoken form of communication will help keep you from
sending the wrong message.
3 No matter what gets brought up during the conversation,
don’t start an argument. Part of a good conversation
involves the ability to listen and be listened to. It is
quite natural for people to have a difference of opinions.
When someone expresses a view or statement that bothers
you, give them their opportunity to talk. When it is your
turn to talk be sure to express that you understand each
person has their right to their opinion and don’t tell them
they are wrong.
This will most likely start an argument, and the person you
are arguing with may now see you as being disagreeable or
even obnoxious.
4 End the conversation on an upbeat, happy note. You want
the last thing this person remembers about you to be
positive.
It would be awful to have a person leave after a
conversation thinking negatively about you. You also want
to end the conversation before you run out of things to say.
Nothing is more uncomfortable than the point of a
conversation when there is no more conversation. The
awkward silence between you will leave a lasting impression
and will not end the conversation optimistically.
If you begin following these conversation tips on a regular
basis you will find yourself having more effective
conversations that aren’t as awkward and difficult as they
once were.
Being able to effectively communicate with others is an art
that, when mastered, will lead you to success in future
professional and personal endeavors.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
The ability to converse easily and effectively can
frequently be a challenge and people often require a few
conversation tips to help them get started.
With the application of a few conversation tips you will be
surprised at how easily you can talk to people in
situations you may have previously just run away from.
Listed below are a few conversation tips to help you get
started conversing easily and confidently.
After reading these conversation tips you will see that a
conversation is more than an exchange of words between
people, it is an art that the truly successful people have
mastered.
1 Give your undivided attention to the person you are
talking to. If the person you are talking to feels as
though you are not listening or too busy looking elsewhere,
they will assume you are not interested and end the
conversation there.
Be sure to ask questions to get the other person talking
about their opinions and give feedback to the answers.
However, be sure not to ask question after question.
You don’t want to engulf the person in so many questions
that they do not get the opportunity to learn how you feel
about the topic of discussion.
2 Your body language says more than the words you are
speaking. Fidgeting or playing with a loose article may
show disinterest. The last thing you want to happen is for
the person you are talking to get the wrong impression of
you.
Crossing one’s arms often gives the appearance of being
closed off to what the other person is saying. Making eye
contact will aid in showing the person talking that you are
paying attention.
Now, this does not mean that you have to stare a person
down, but you do want to look at the person to show them
you are interested and listening. Paying attention to this
unspoken form of communication will help keep you from
sending the wrong message.
3 No matter what gets brought up during the conversation,
don’t start an argument. Part of a good conversation
involves the ability to listen and be listened to. It is
quite natural for people to have a difference of opinions.
When someone expresses a view or statement that bothers
you, give them their opportunity to talk. When it is your
turn to talk be sure to express that you understand each
person has their right to their opinion and don’t tell them
they are wrong.
This will most likely start an argument, and the person you
are arguing with may now see you as being disagreeable or
even obnoxious.
4 End the conversation on an upbeat, happy note. You want
the last thing this person remembers about you to be
positive.
It would be awful to have a person leave after a
conversation thinking negatively about you. You also want
to end the conversation before you run out of things to say.
Nothing is more uncomfortable than the point of a
conversation when there is no more conversation. The
awkward silence between you will leave a lasting impression
and will not end the conversation optimistically.
If you begin following these conversation tips on a regular
basis you will find yourself having more effective
conversations that aren’t as awkward and difficult as they
once were.
Being able to effectively communicate with others is an art
that, when mastered, will lead you to success in future
professional and personal endeavors.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Social Skills Training Made Easy
by Peter Murphy
Just as no one learns to ride a bicycle without first being
trained to ride a bicycle, so too does no one truly acquire
social skills without undergoing some kind of social skills
training.
While it’s not always easy to define what is meant by
social skills, it’s easy to identify individuals who lack
them and need social skills training: they tend to be
socially isolated, frustrated, depressed, even prone to
anger and acting out.
Social skills training for both children and adults focuses
on creating individuals who are able to make and maintain
friendships, understand and express emotion, work
cooperatively, and develop assertiveness and self-worth.
In the workplace, social skills help employees embody the
traits most valued by employers: compliance, civility, and
cooperativeness.
Mental health experts have identified four primary areas of
social skills:
1. Survival skills, such as listening and following
directions, focusing on the task at hand, and using
positive self-talk to reward success.
2. Interpersonal skills, such as sharing, participating
appropriately in activities, and learning how to take turns.
3. Problem-solving skills, including knowing how and when
to ask for help, deciding upon the correct course of
action, and accepting consequences for behavior.
4. Conflict resolution skills, such as dealing with
misunderstanding or accusation.
The goal of social skills training is to facilitate
desirable behaviors while minimizing the incidence of
undesirable ones. Through positive modeling, coaching, and
role-playing, effective programs need to:
1. Teach listening skills, conversational skills, and
social participation skills. Central to all three is eye
contact, knowing when (and when not) to speak, and how to
show interest in what other people are saying.
2. Describe how to ask questions and favors appropriately
of others, and how to follow directions. Help people
determine the best time to speak, how to know who to ask
for help, and how to get another person’s attention in a
friendly and non-aggressive way.
3. Provide direction in how to interpret body language.
People communicate volumes through their facial expressions
and by many other non-verbal cues that can be nuanced and
challenging to understand. Teach participants to observe
other people closely through role-play and through modeling.
4. Teach the skill of working cooperatively. Working well
with others involves being able to listen, to identify what
needs to be done and how it should be accomplished, and to
be attuned to the needs and feelings of the people involved
in the task.
5. Train people how to communicate positively and
productively. Teach them when and how to say thank you,
how to give constructive compliments, and how to give and
receive positive feedback.
Accepting a compliment is not easy for some people, but
learning how to do it graciously and appropriately is a
valuable social skill.
6. Instruct on the proper techniques of conflict
resolution. Accepting the consequences of behavior means
knowing when and how to apologize, understanding how
actions influence other people, and demonstrating the
ability to empathize.
Social skills have been referred to by some psychologists
as "life skills". Therefore, social skills training is
really about giving people the skills they need to succeed
in life.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Just as no one learns to ride a bicycle without first being
trained to ride a bicycle, so too does no one truly acquire
social skills without undergoing some kind of social skills
training.
While it’s not always easy to define what is meant by
social skills, it’s easy to identify individuals who lack
them and need social skills training: they tend to be
socially isolated, frustrated, depressed, even prone to
anger and acting out.
Social skills training for both children and adults focuses
on creating individuals who are able to make and maintain
friendships, understand and express emotion, work
cooperatively, and develop assertiveness and self-worth.
In the workplace, social skills help employees embody the
traits most valued by employers: compliance, civility, and
cooperativeness.
Mental health experts have identified four primary areas of
social skills:
1. Survival skills, such as listening and following
directions, focusing on the task at hand, and using
positive self-talk to reward success.
2. Interpersonal skills, such as sharing, participating
appropriately in activities, and learning how to take turns.
3. Problem-solving skills, including knowing how and when
to ask for help, deciding upon the correct course of
action, and accepting consequences for behavior.
4. Conflict resolution skills, such as dealing with
misunderstanding or accusation.
The goal of social skills training is to facilitate
desirable behaviors while minimizing the incidence of
undesirable ones. Through positive modeling, coaching, and
role-playing, effective programs need to:
1. Teach listening skills, conversational skills, and
social participation skills. Central to all three is eye
contact, knowing when (and when not) to speak, and how to
show interest in what other people are saying.
2. Describe how to ask questions and favors appropriately
of others, and how to follow directions. Help people
determine the best time to speak, how to know who to ask
for help, and how to get another person’s attention in a
friendly and non-aggressive way.
3. Provide direction in how to interpret body language.
People communicate volumes through their facial expressions
and by many other non-verbal cues that can be nuanced and
challenging to understand. Teach participants to observe
other people closely through role-play and through modeling.
4. Teach the skill of working cooperatively. Working well
with others involves being able to listen, to identify what
needs to be done and how it should be accomplished, and to
be attuned to the needs and feelings of the people involved
in the task.
5. Train people how to communicate positively and
productively. Teach them when and how to say thank you,
how to give constructive compliments, and how to give and
receive positive feedback.
Accepting a compliment is not easy for some people, but
learning how to do it graciously and appropriately is a
valuable social skill.
6. Instruct on the proper techniques of conflict
resolution. Accepting the consequences of behavior means
knowing when and how to apologize, understanding how
actions influence other people, and demonstrating the
ability to empathize.
Social skills have been referred to by some psychologists
as "life skills". Therefore, social skills training is
really about giving people the skills they need to succeed
in life.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Thursday, February 03, 2005
4 Great Ways To Improve Social Skills
by Peter Murphy
Improving your social skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate social skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
social skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Start socializing close to home.
Not literally but metaphorically. Start by looking at your
closest social interactions. If you are the kind of person
who is more off to themselves and not very active at your
friends’ parties then you are more than likely the same
person who can’t speak up in a business or find the courage
to initiate a date.
So start by mingling yourself with your closest people more
often. Practice by holding conversation with family you
don’t regularly speak too or becoming more active in the
party scene with your friends.
There’s no need to become outrageous just speak up with
those you fell comfortable with.
Step #2 Improve your conversation skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though.
Watch the conversation and don’t let those uncomfortable
pauses scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a
good chance that the other person is nervous as well, so
just take it easy.
Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.
When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to amore
important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.
Step #3 Improve the body language in your social skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine.
Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don’t
sway. Swaying can suggest again that you are bored or that
you are in a hurry.
Step #4 Ending the Conversation.
Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over labels you
as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s movements
and actions.
We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of
letting each know when we are through. If the other person
tends to refer to their "to do list" for the day or are
constantly shifting their body weight or displaying other
physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your social skills can be done. Don’t worry, keep
trying and aim to improve a little each day. Good social
skills are the foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Improving your social skills can be done!
Improving your social skills can be a difficult thing to
accomplish but it can be done. Nothing is more
uncomfortable than inadequate social skills.
Below are a few basic steps to take so that improving your
social skills becomes not only a change but a better
lifestyle for you.
Step #1 Start socializing close to home.
Not literally but metaphorically. Start by looking at your
closest social interactions. If you are the kind of person
who is more off to themselves and not very active at your
friends’ parties then you are more than likely the same
person who can’t speak up in a business or find the courage
to initiate a date.
So start by mingling yourself with your closest people more
often. Practice by holding conversation with family you
don’t regularly speak too or becoming more active in the
party scene with your friends.
There’s no need to become outrageous just speak up with
those you fell comfortable with.
Step #2 Improve your conversation skills.
Nervousness is a common occurrence when it comes to
interacting with other people, it doesn’t have to be an
obstacle though.
Watch the conversation and don’t let those uncomfortable
pauses scare you. Remember if you are nervous there is a
good chance that the other person is nervous as well, so
just take it easy.
Try small talk, like the weather or the economy or things
locally that you have in common such as the job or what’s
been on television lately.
When you see the conversation picking back up then just let
it flow naturally and if you need to guide it back to amore
important topic.
Something else to remember in the conversation is to avoid
talking over the other person. Watch the person’s reaction
and if your are really worried about interrupting, try and
anticipate their next move.
Above all, apologizing instead of simply ordering the
person to continue speaking when you interrupt is never
overrated. Being polite is the easiest way to improve your
social skills.
Step #3 Improve the body language in your social skills.
Crossing your arms is subconsciously offensive because you
display a piece of aggression, stating that you would
rather not become deeply engaged in the conversation and
that possibly you might be bored.
If you are seated, crossing your legs displays the same
message. Try and keep your arms down, hands in the pockets
are fine.
Try and keep your legs down and if you are standing don’t
sway. Swaying can suggest again that you are bored or that
you are in a hurry.
Step #4 Ending the Conversation.
Knowing how to end conversation is just as important in
improving your social skills as holding the conversation is.
Holding onto a conversation that is clearly over labels you
as annoying and selfish. Watch the other person’s movements
and actions.
We as humans have very subtle but dependable signs of
letting each know when we are through. If the other person
tends to refer to their "to do list" for the day or are
constantly shifting their body weight or displaying other
physical signs of boredom, let them go.
Improving your social skills can be done. Don’t worry, keep
trying and aim to improve a little each day. Good social
skills are the foundation for success!
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Improving your social skills can be done!
How to Communicate At Your Best
by Peter Murphy
Knowing how to communicate well is a big issue. According
to a recent National Survey, Americans fear public speaking
and communication more than they fear dying.
Why is this?
Because knowing how to communicate well requires very
personal attention between you and another human being and
let's face it, anything personal opens a door to insecurity
and feeling of inadequacy. So how can you overcome these
insecure feelings about communication?
Is there a better way to learn how to communicate
effectively?
It takes some individual commitment but for starters,
follow these 3 basics steps.
1. Relax and Breath.
Whether it's a business meeting, a conference room or a
first date the first thing you must do in order to
communicate is relax.
When you relax you are in control. You control your
reactions and your reactions do not control you. Breathing
is central to relaxation. Take a few deep breaths and your
body will begin to be more at ease.
2. Think and you will be prepared.
Have you ever heard the old saying, "think before you
speak"? Well, it rings true. An effective sentence,
paragraph and speech must first be formed in your mind.
Try to think a few sentences ahead, predicting your follow
up sentences and the ones following them. If you forget to
think you will wind up dumbfounded and back at step one,
but don't worry, relax and keep going.
By thinking ahead about how the conversation might flow you
will be better prepared, more at ease and more confident.
3. Follow the flow of the conversation.
If you are giving a speech, watch the audience and know how
to read their reactions. For example, if they are bored,
key up your speech.
If they are tired, then maybe it would be best to wrap it
up. If your communication is more personal like a date, do
the same but remember communication is a give and take
process.
If you are uncomfortable, being silent will only make it
worse and make the other person uncomfortable as well. So
when all else fails follow through with small talk until a
common topic appears.
A good way to keep a conversation going is to ask the other
person questions. People love to talk about themselves and
if you do this they will leave the conversation thinking
very highly of you.
Learning good communication skills is not something out of
reach. You can learn how to communicate with confidence
whether it is through written communication, verbal
communication or non verbal communication if you make an
effort.
So good luck and good communication.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to reserve your
365 day trial of this simple
step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
You can learn how to communicate with confidence!
Knowing how to communicate well is a big issue. According
to a recent National Survey, Americans fear public speaking
and communication more than they fear dying.
Why is this?
Because knowing how to communicate well requires very
personal attention between you and another human being and
let's face it, anything personal opens a door to insecurity
and feeling of inadequacy. So how can you overcome these
insecure feelings about communication?
Is there a better way to learn how to communicate
effectively?
It takes some individual commitment but for starters,
follow these 3 basics steps.
1. Relax and Breath.
Whether it's a business meeting, a conference room or a
first date the first thing you must do in order to
communicate is relax.
When you relax you are in control. You control your
reactions and your reactions do not control you. Breathing
is central to relaxation. Take a few deep breaths and your
body will begin to be more at ease.
2. Think and you will be prepared.
Have you ever heard the old saying, "think before you
speak"? Well, it rings true. An effective sentence,
paragraph and speech must first be formed in your mind.
Try to think a few sentences ahead, predicting your follow
up sentences and the ones following them. If you forget to
think you will wind up dumbfounded and back at step one,
but don't worry, relax and keep going.
By thinking ahead about how the conversation might flow you
will be better prepared, more at ease and more confident.
3. Follow the flow of the conversation.
If you are giving a speech, watch the audience and know how
to read their reactions. For example, if they are bored,
key up your speech.
If they are tired, then maybe it would be best to wrap it
up. If your communication is more personal like a date, do
the same but remember communication is a give and take
process.
If you are uncomfortable, being silent will only make it
worse and make the other person uncomfortable as well. So
when all else fails follow through with small talk until a
common topic appears.
A good way to keep a conversation going is to ask the other
person questions. People love to talk about themselves and
if you do this they will leave the conversation thinking
very highly of you.
Learning good communication skills is not something out of
reach. You can learn how to communicate with confidence
whether it is through written communication, verbal
communication or non verbal communication if you make an
effort.
So good luck and good communication.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
revealed the secret strategies all high achievers use to
communicate with charm and impact. The same techniques you
can use to overcome shyness, develop great conversation
skills and build self-confidence.
Click here now to reserve your
365 day trial of this simple
step-by-step system:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com
You can learn how to communicate with confidence!
Thursday, January 27, 2005
4 Simple Tips to Strengthen Communication Skills
4 Simple Tips to Strengthen Communication Skillsby Peter Murphy
Remember the days when solo projects and independent work were the norm and no one really considered that you might need to develop your communication skills?
When communication was by letter, and conversation through correspondence required little eye contact and required days and even weeks to complete?
Today, with new technology and the emphasis on teamwork in the workplace, communication skills are a most important trait to develop.
The phrase “communication skills” might sound frightening, like developing quantum physics skills or gymnastic skills. Communication skills, however, encompass a few behaviors that can become very natural with practice.
Here are some guidelines for developing good communication skills that you can practice anywhere and at anytime:
1: Eye Contact.
Whether you are speaking or being spoken to, looking into the eyes of the person you are in conversation with can make the experience much more successful.
Eye contact conveys interest, and encourages your partner to
be interested in you in return. In less intimate settings, when giving a speech or when in front of several people, holding the eyes of different members of your audience can personalize what you are saying and maintain attention.
2: Body Language.
Body language can say so much more than a mouthful of words.
An open stance with arms easily to your side tells anyone you are talking to that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say.
Arms crossed and shoulders hunched, on the other hand, suggests disinterest in conversation or unwillingness to communicate.
Often, communication can be stopped before it starts by body language that tells people you do not want to talk. Good posture and an approachable stance can make even difficult conversations flow more smoothly.
3. Have courage to say what you think!
Communication skills begin with simple communication. You do not have to discourse of difficult topics to communicate.
Take time each day to be aware of your opinions and feelings. When you are aware of what you believe on a certain issue, you can better convey those thoughts to others.
Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not feel they have worthwhile opinions need not fear: what is important or worthwhile to one person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else.
In a world so very big, someone is bound to agree with you, or to open your eyes to an even deeper perspective. The courage to say what you think can afford you the opportunity to learn more than you did before.
4. Speak loudly enough to be heard.
When you are saying what you think, have the confidence to say it so as to be heard.
An appropriate volume can inform listeners that you mean what you say, you have thought about what you are saying, and what you are saying is worth hearing. An appropriate tone and volume ensure your listeners hear exactly what you are saying, and decreases room for misunderstanding.
Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the more social to the more professional.
While some people feel the need to take a special college course on communications, or to attend community lectures on giving speeches, you might find that these simple behavior tips can open up new communication opportunities to you.
New skills take time to refine, but each time you use your communication skills you open yourself to opportunities and future friendships.
For more free communication skills tips click here now:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Remember the days when solo projects and independent work were the norm and no one really considered that you might need to develop your communication skills?
When communication was by letter, and conversation through correspondence required little eye contact and required days and even weeks to complete?
Today, with new technology and the emphasis on teamwork in the workplace, communication skills are a most important trait to develop.
The phrase “communication skills” might sound frightening, like developing quantum physics skills or gymnastic skills. Communication skills, however, encompass a few behaviors that can become very natural with practice.
Here are some guidelines for developing good communication skills that you can practice anywhere and at anytime:
1: Eye Contact.
Whether you are speaking or being spoken to, looking into the eyes of the person you are in conversation with can make the experience much more successful.
Eye contact conveys interest, and encourages your partner to
be interested in you in return. In less intimate settings, when giving a speech or when in front of several people, holding the eyes of different members of your audience can personalize what you are saying and maintain attention.
2: Body Language.
Body language can say so much more than a mouthful of words.
An open stance with arms easily to your side tells anyone you are talking to that you are approachable and open to hearing what they have to say.
Arms crossed and shoulders hunched, on the other hand, suggests disinterest in conversation or unwillingness to communicate.
Often, communication can be stopped before it starts by body language that tells people you do not want to talk. Good posture and an approachable stance can make even difficult conversations flow more smoothly.
3. Have courage to say what you think!
Communication skills begin with simple communication. You do not have to discourse of difficult topics to communicate.
Take time each day to be aware of your opinions and feelings. When you are aware of what you believe on a certain issue, you can better convey those thoughts to others.
Individuals who are hesitant to speak because they do not feel they have worthwhile opinions need not fear: what is important or worthwhile to one person may not be to another and may be more so to someone else.
In a world so very big, someone is bound to agree with you, or to open your eyes to an even deeper perspective. The courage to say what you think can afford you the opportunity to learn more than you did before.
4. Speak loudly enough to be heard.
When you are saying what you think, have the confidence to say it so as to be heard.
An appropriate volume can inform listeners that you mean what you say, you have thought about what you are saying, and what you are saying is worth hearing. An appropriate tone and volume ensure your listeners hear exactly what you are saying, and decreases room for misunderstanding.
Communication skills can be practiced every day in settings that range from the more social to the more professional.
While some people feel the need to take a special college course on communications, or to attend community lectures on giving speeches, you might find that these simple behavior tips can open up new communication opportunities to you.
New skills take time to refine, but each time you use your communication skills you open yourself to opportunities and future friendships.
For more free communication skills tips click here now:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
3 Tips to Overcome Shyness
3 Tips to Overcome Shyness by Peter Murphy
You can overcome shyness with these three simple steps. Every year, people the world over decide to pick characteristics about themselves to improve before
the next year begins.
These resolutions, from losing weight to getting that fabulous job you’ve always wanted, can afford a sense of purpose or inspiration for healthy life choices.
There are some, however, who choose a very difficult task for themselves: the task of overcoming shyness.
Shyness is the term given to feelings of anxiety or discomfort in social settings, and to the inability of a person to engage or interact fully with others. Shyness comes in various degrees and with different symptoms.
If you have vowed to be less shy here are some important tips to encourage your success!
#1. Be your own best friend.
Mental Health professionals tell us that any behavioral change requires support. Because the nature of a shy person is not to seek out or elicit attention from others, they often feel they have to fight their battle alone.
In the absence of a caring support group, you can nurture yourself with positive affirmations repeated daily. Be honest with yourself about all of the good qualities you have. A familiar adage says “you cannot love another until you love yourself”.
Positive interactions with others are more natural if you know how to have a positive interaction with yourself first.
#2. Leave comparisons behind.
A shy person tends never to be very conceited. On the other hand, a shy person also does not always have a firm grasp on self-esteem.
Excuses for not talking such as “I didn’t have anything important to say” or “Other people knew more than me and I did not want to seem silly” are self-defeating.
When you look at other people, you see only the good side they allow everyone to see. People do not tend to wear their hurt or worry on their sleeves, but that does not mean they do not exist.
As you are working to overcome shyness, try to remember that everyone is human. The life of the party is no more or less a person than the quietest guest. This even playing field affords respect for all comments and participants – even your own.
#3. Practice makes better.
There is no cure for shyness. At one point in your life, shyness may have benefited you because of circumstances you were dealing with at the time.
However, as you have made the decision to break free from shyness, it is important to look for little ways to practice being your more outgoing self. Talk with friends about new topics.
Introduce your own topic. You can begin to test your comfort zone with people you trust, talking to people you are less acquainted with as your confidence grows.
Sharing small bits of information about yourself at a time allows others to learn more about you, and reinforces that others can and will be interested in you.
As you talk with new people, you will learn new things about yourself that can only make thinking of things to say easier in the future.
As with any resolution, overcoming shyness will take a lot of time and dedication. There may be times when you feel more vulnerable than you would prefer, but these moments might offer you a chance to bond with another facing a similar challenge.
A positive attitude and patience with yourself will make all the difference in overcoming shyness as you emerge from your shell and into the company of people who are excited to get to know you.
For more free tips to help you overcome shyness click here now:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
You can overcome shyness with these three simple steps. Every year, people the world over decide to pick characteristics about themselves to improve before
the next year begins.
These resolutions, from losing weight to getting that fabulous job you’ve always wanted, can afford a sense of purpose or inspiration for healthy life choices.
There are some, however, who choose a very difficult task for themselves: the task of overcoming shyness.
Shyness is the term given to feelings of anxiety or discomfort in social settings, and to the inability of a person to engage or interact fully with others. Shyness comes in various degrees and with different symptoms.
If you have vowed to be less shy here are some important tips to encourage your success!
#1. Be your own best friend.
Mental Health professionals tell us that any behavioral change requires support. Because the nature of a shy person is not to seek out or elicit attention from others, they often feel they have to fight their battle alone.
In the absence of a caring support group, you can nurture yourself with positive affirmations repeated daily. Be honest with yourself about all of the good qualities you have. A familiar adage says “you cannot love another until you love yourself”.
Positive interactions with others are more natural if you know how to have a positive interaction with yourself first.
#2. Leave comparisons behind.
A shy person tends never to be very conceited. On the other hand, a shy person also does not always have a firm grasp on self-esteem.
Excuses for not talking such as “I didn’t have anything important to say” or “Other people knew more than me and I did not want to seem silly” are self-defeating.
When you look at other people, you see only the good side they allow everyone to see. People do not tend to wear their hurt or worry on their sleeves, but that does not mean they do not exist.
As you are working to overcome shyness, try to remember that everyone is human. The life of the party is no more or less a person than the quietest guest. This even playing field affords respect for all comments and participants – even your own.
#3. Practice makes better.
There is no cure for shyness. At one point in your life, shyness may have benefited you because of circumstances you were dealing with at the time.
However, as you have made the decision to break free from shyness, it is important to look for little ways to practice being your more outgoing self. Talk with friends about new topics.
Introduce your own topic. You can begin to test your comfort zone with people you trust, talking to people you are less acquainted with as your confidence grows.
Sharing small bits of information about yourself at a time allows others to learn more about you, and reinforces that others can and will be interested in you.
As you talk with new people, you will learn new things about yourself that can only make thinking of things to say easier in the future.
As with any resolution, overcoming shyness will take a lot of time and dedication. There may be times when you feel more vulnerable than you would prefer, but these moments might offer you a chance to bond with another facing a similar challenge.
A positive attitude and patience with yourself will make all the difference in overcoming shyness as you emerge from your shell and into the company of people who are excited to get to know you.
For more free tips to help you overcome shyness click here now:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
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