Monday, September 06, 2004

How You Can Develop Superior People Skills Even Faster Than You Think

Would you like to know three secrets to becoming a great
conversationalist? What if you could make a quantum leap in
your ability to communicate effectively with people?

There are three key distinctions that can help you to move
ahead even faster than you think possible...

1. Do What Works More Often

We all know what we should do but do we do it? Not usually.

Once you have a proven system for communicating effectively
it is up to you to use it each day. The challenge for most
people is that they get caught up in day to day life and
forget to apply the new techniques they have learned.

You need to make a point of using what works otherwise you
will never develop proficiency in this area of your life.

Take one technique, strategy or approach and commit to
using it five times a day for the next seven days. When you
do this you will be amazed at your rapid progress.

Before long that technique will become part of how you live
and it will become second nature to you. At this point you
can move onto another technique. Choose one and again
commit to using it daily until you master it.

2. Stop Doing What Does Not Work

We all have habits, good ones and bad ones, that seem to
have a life of their own. We do certain things in certain
ways without even thinking about it.

This can become a challenge when the habit stops you from
connecting with people. You might find that you always feel
nervous meeting new people or that your mind goes blank
when someone in a meeting asks you to share your thoughts
with the group.

In these situations you are responding on automatic in the
same way each time. A bad unconscious habit from the past
is in control - not your conscious mind in the present

You can change.

First of all identify those situations where you always get
stuck. Be as specific as possible.

Now, understand that what you are doing is not working and
never will. This is the equivalent of trying to open a door
with the wrong key. No matter how many times you try it
that door will not open. You need to drop the bad habit and
replace it with a new habit.

What is the best way to install a new habit?

Repetition with emotional intensity!

When you do so in a structured way that makes sense to your
conscious and unconscious mind you will quickly and easily
set up a new and better pattern of behavior.

Now would be a great time to revisit lesson 1 in my book:
The Confidence Super Charger can be used daily to transform
the way you communicate with others. It is a very powerful
way to reprogram your mind to stop doing what does not work
and to start doing what does work.

When you direct your mind to perform in a new way and you
do this again and again the new pattern becomes automatic.
You´ll find yourself talking to complete strangers with
confidence without nerves or anxiety.

You´ll never get stuck for words again because you will be
tapping into the vast intelligence of you mind. You´ll feel
relaxed and at ease and people will respond positively to
your words.

3. Copy And Mimic Role Models

One of the fastest ways to move ahead is to notice what
highly successful people do and then copy their approach.

Find people in your community and workplace who have great
people skills and pay very close attention to what they do.
If you can - make a point of spending time with them in
different situations.

For example I learned a lot from one of my mentors by going
shopping with him at the mall. He did the same things in
the same way in every store we visited. He even used the
same jokes with every store assistant.

Originality is overrated!

I copied his approach and it worked for me too. I now use
the same small talk, jokes and approach whenever I want to
get rapport with store assistants. And it works everywhere
I go.

This is not rocket science its common sense which
unfortunately is not that common as Mark Twain famously
pointed out.

Review the How to Start a Great Conversation with Anyone
report that comes with my book to find out what I do in
more detail.

To sum up.

There is no need for you to reinvent the wheel. Copy what
works and don´t make the mistake of over analyzing why it

Learn by watching role models and by following their lead.
You will then move ahead much more quickly.

Have Fun,

Peter Murphy
How to Communicate with Unstoppable
Confidence in 20 Days or Less

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