Friday, August 27, 2004

3 Easy Steps to Low Stress Communication

Life is all about choices. And so is the way you communicate. You
can fill your days with frustrating high stress communication or
you can have days of low stress effective communication with your
peers.

Now take a moment to learn three ways to have low stress
communication.

1 Recognize Positive Intentions

When someone you are talking to is unkind, negative or downright
rude it is easy to get annoyed, angry and even aggressive.

However this will just makes the situation worse and even faster
than you can imagine.

There is a better way. Instead look for the positive intention of
the person you are talking to. What do I mean?

Ask yourself -- what is the positive intention behind this
behavior?

If the person you are talking to is angry maybe the positive
intention is to express some hurt or frustration. What is
important is looking for a positive not to get the correct answer.

When you assume the person has a positive message hidden
underneath the negative exterior you will have more compassion
and patience and you will not feel so stressed dealing with the
individual.


2 Choose Your Own Emotional State

I talk a lot about the importance of managing your
emotional state. Why? Because it is an essential life skill.

Unless you are in charge of how you feel your ability to
communicate effectively will always be limited and dependent on
other people.

When you are in a potentially stressful situation and everyone
around you is losing their cool this does not mean you have to
join them! You will be able to contribute a lot more if you
remain calm and centered.

Staying calm and resourceful is a choice you can make.
Unfortunately it is all too easy to be a sheep and simply follow
the crowd. Nobody says you have to be a sheep!

Instead make a point of keeping yourself in a resourceful state.


3 Step Outside The Situation

Whenever I am in a highly charged situation I will often step
outside the situation -- in my mind. This helps to defuse the
event for me.

You can do this too. Simply imagine that you are at the other end
of the room watching the interaction between you and the other
person or people.

It is as if you are a neutral observer with no emotional
involvement in the discussion at hand.

When you do this you will think of ideas to handle the
situation better and you will also feel less bothered by the
stress of the other people.

This is one technique you need to play with first in easy
everyday conversations. Once you get familiar with it you will
find it easy to mentally step outside the event while still
participating with the people in front of you.

Stress or relaxation which do you prefer?

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm






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