Friday, August 27, 2004

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops
many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when
we are relaxing with friends.

And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get
and the more likely we are to say something stupid.

Let us a take a look at some remedies:

1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.

I often talk about the importance of managing your emotions

This is an essential skill.

There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer to
if you want to learn more about relaxation.

When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to be
flexible when you need to be.

2 Prepare Yourself

Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about.

With the internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becoming
well informed about the world. The more knowledge you have the more
conversations you can contribute to.

Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwise
your conversation topics will be limited to what interests you the
most. And those topics may not interest your friends as much.

3 Become genuinely interested in other people

One of the big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! We
are all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else.

When there is a long silence encourage the other person to talk
by asking questions and taking an active interest in the answers.

Take charge of the situation if you want the conversation to

4 Stupid Statements Are Allowed!

If you say something stupid it is not the end of the world. If
you try to hide your error then the situation can become chaotic
very quickly.

It is far better to just admit that you made a mistake. Also,
accept that even smart people say stupid things some times.

As long as you accept that you will make mistakes you have
nothing to worry about. Expecting yourself to be perfect is
unfair and just sets you up for failure.

All you need to do now is to decide how you will deal with these
mistakes when they do happen.

5 Enjoy The Silence!

When there is a long silence in a conversation what normally
passes through your mind? Do you judge it as bad? Do you feel
under pressure to speak?

The other person has created the silence with you. Why not wait
for him to speak first? Take the responsibility off your shoulders.
It takes at least two people to have a conversation.

Finally, the reason silence can be uncomfortable is because you
become self conscious. You become very aware of your own thoughts
and feelings

There is one great way to deal with this. Put your attention on
something outside of yourself by paying great attention to the
other person and whatever is going on around you in the room.

Become fascinated by what you see and hear and you will forget
about your own concerns.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:

1 comment:

Gregory said...

This sounds good. I am always worried when a conversation gets quiet. I feel very stupid. I will try to use these techniqes to try and reverse that feeling.