Friday, August 27, 2004

Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People

1 Do not believe everything you hear!

With close friends and family it is not unusual to think that you
ought to take onboard everything you hear. However do not confuse
caring with knowing.

Just because someone is concerned for your welfare does not mean
that their advice or input has value. For example, I know a lot
about peak performance. I do not know much about car maintenance.

If I ever offer you advice on rebuilding a car engine run as fast
as you can! My input would have little or no value.

Likewise with friends and family. They may be negative about you,
your plans and your opinions simply because they lack the
knowledge to think positively about the situation. Their
ignorance causes them to fear for your welfare.

Distinguish between caring and the knowledge to offer worthwhile

2 Let go of needing their approval:

I often mention this principle because it is so important. As
long as you must have the permission, approval and
acceptance of your peers you are a victim of their limiting

You must let go of wanting approval if you are to ever have
peace of mind.

The easiest way is to learn The Sedona Method. To get started
right now ask yourself -- could I let go of wanting John´s
approval? Where John is the name of the negative person.

Notice the feeling response that comes up for you and repeat the
question for at least twenty minutes until you feel lighter and
more at peace.

Do this regularly to reclaim your independence from negative

3 Eliminate your own negative thoughts:

Often friends reflect back the negatives you quietly hold inside
your own mind. If you were 100 per cent positive about your life
and your plans it would not matter if people close to you were

In fact their negative comments might even make you laugh because
their opinions would seem so absurd to you.

You can become more positive by reading books that expand your
knowledge and understanding, spending more time with positive,
dynamic people and by stretching yourself daily.

By stretching I mean challenging yourself to perform better than
your previous best. When you make stretching to be more part of
your life your belief in what is possible grows and grows at a
furious pace. Before long you will not have room for negative

Choose to find a positive in all things and it quickly becomes a
habit that will transform your experience of life. I am always
asking myself:

-- what is good about this?

-- what is great about this?

-- what have I learned from this that makes me stronger?

Ask yourself the right questions and redirect your mind back onto
the positive.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:

1 comment:

Gregory said...

I think Peter Murphy is great. I receive his free reports via email and may one day begin purchasing some of his material. I am growing more confident everyday. There are bumps in the road now and again and some days I feel just as bad as I felt before, but I look at the big picture and I get back up again.