Friday, August 27, 2004

How to Quickly and Easily Deal With Rude People

Where I live there seems to be a a growing population of rude and
vulgar people. And no matter how hard I wish for things to change
it is not going to happen. It is up to me to change how I think
and feel about these people. The same applies for you.

1 What does it mean when someone is rude?

Your initial angry reaction may be to think the person is a moron
but that only makes matters worse as it will comes across in the
way you talk.

I prefer to view such behavior as evidence that the person is
doing the best he can with what he has. This belief makes it
easier for you to accept the person even though you may not like
his approach.

Look for the good in people and you are a lot more likely to find

2 Is it your fault?

When you encounter vulgarity it is worth pausing to ask yourself
have you encouraged this behavior. Maybe you played along with
this gutter talk in the past so the person thinks you do not mind

Or perhaps you have done something that has annoyed the person so
much they cannot control their anger and annoyance.

In either of these cases it is best to slowly lead the person
back to a polite discussion. You can do this by asking highly
specific questions that force the person to slow down and think
before replying.

If you honestly did not do anything to encourage the rudeness
you are clearly dealing with someone who habitually talks in this

Unless you can change the person you just have to accept him as
he is.

3 What can you do?

Ultimately you have a choice - avoid dealing with vulgar people
where possible or join them! Only joking!

Seriously though if you cannot avoid them you need to remember
how to take charge of conversations. Plus you need to ensure you
remain strong and unaffected by their manner.

In the meantime you can achieve quite a lot by distinguishing
between the person and the way they deliver their message to you.

Look beyond their words to the real message they are trying to

We all have a bad day now and again maybe you just bumped into
them while they were stuck at a low point.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently
produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to
Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because
it is available for a limited time only at:

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